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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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93240sx Offline
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Need some advice on real life problems - July 27th 2009, 11:47 AM

Well long story short my parents gave me the boot a few months ago (around march, was 18 years old first semester in college). I was going through a very rough time, messed up relationship, doing poorly in school, speeding tickets, assault and battery arrest, finally my father gave up and one day filed for a restraining order and i ended up spending another weekend in jail when i returned to grab some of my stuff. Since then I have turned my stuff around. I've paid off my tickets, held two steady paying jobs, staying out of trouble, renting a room, chilling with friends, building up my car, all that good stuff.
Problem now is the lady I rent from is kicking me out b/c some chick is coming in and will be paying twice what I am. School is starting in sept. and I really want to move back to my house because its conveniently located near my jobs and school. I spoke to my father who is currently overseas and explained to him that I have changed, back on meds, steady jobs, going back to school all stuff we had agreed if i completed would earn me a room back in my room when he threw me out. I honestly dont hold anything against my old man for what he did i was completely out of control and didnt realise how good i had it. they really mean it when they say you have to hit rock bottom to change. well the old man kept it short and simple. "No, i dont want you in the house, you know that. alrite dad, bye"
im basically backed up into a wall here and just dont know what to do. i will soon enough have no where to sleep besides a car. im gonna try talking to my dad again i just wish we could meet face to face
   
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Re: Need some advice on real life problems - July 27th 2009, 08:04 PM

hi,
i think its brilliant that youve turned yourself around and are back on the way up the ladder instead of dropping rapidly down it, so well done you!!!
okay, i can sort of understand where your dad is coming from here, for all he knows you are the same person and havent changed at all. i think meeting face to face is a really good idea because that way you can show him just how much youve grown as a person.
have you tried talking to someone who is close to your dad, maybe an auntie?uncle?close friend of his? who is in the same country as you are. this way you can show them how much youve got better and they can then pass the information onto your dad.
otherwise, try sending you dad pictures of your current apartment, the new school books youll use, your improving car etc to show him that you are improving your life and want him to see that. maybe if he sees it, hell let you mave back in.
you could say that you want to make a "contract" that you can all sign which could say that you have to go to college, have to stop getting arrested, keep your room tidy and basically agree to pretty much anythinf he wants you too so you can prove that you mean business.
i hope you can get things sorted, you deserve it as i can see your trying seriously hard to turn your life around
PM me if i can help anymore or if you want someone to listen to you
Hannah X


"He who does not weep, does not see" - Les Miserables.

keep reaching and living your lives. you are who you are.

PM me whenever and ill do my best to help!

Im here if you ever need anyone to talk to or to have someone to listen to you
   
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Re: Need some advice on real life problems - July 28th 2009, 04:51 AM

Have you considered staying with a friend until you can find another place? Or maybe even asking if anyone would be interested in splitting their rent with you.

I really think all you can do with your Dad is give it time. Give him time to see how well you're doing, and well-rounded you've become, and eventually, you can probably mend your relationship between you two.
   
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