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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Brother problems :( - July 29th 2009, 02:12 AM

Mostly I am just venting here.. I really just need to get it out I guess..

For the past few years I have seen my younger brother now 16 go from a sweet innocent boy to a two faced bully, thief..very violent person..
He has hurt me so much over the past few years as he stole my credit card and spent over 1600 dollars on it.. Not to mention the hundreds if not thousands of dollars in tips he has snatched from my room (I work at dunkin donuts) .. We have since then bought a safe to lock my money up in.. But even recently I came home sick from work and left my tips on my desk... The next day they were gone.. obviously placed in his devious hands. Don't get me wrong I love him dearly, But I have NEVER done anything to him to deserve this treatment.. I am nothing but nice to him, just a few weeks ago I brought him to the mall and bought him a very nice pair of jeans from abercrombie.. A month ago he stole my tmobile sidekick slide and sold it to one of his friends.. we recently found out who he sold it to by talking to his friend.. It hurts me so much that I just pretend that he didn't do it.. or I make myself believe I misplaced them or lost them.. I don't want to believe it. I am not materielistic at all but it just hurts when your family- your own blood is stealing from you. I hardly confront him about these matters.. Only a few times I have confronted him and He gets very angry and violent..

Recently he has been very violent in the house.. going as far as breaking the front door from slamming it so hard..pounched holes in the walls..threatening my dad that he is going to smack him.. he is also very into weed and alchol.. This upsets me because I believe weed is just the gateway drug to other more powerful drugs, I have seen it happen to my older sister..she messed her life up with heroin.!
Making very hurtful comments to everyone living here..mostly my parents.. He is starting counceling soon though.. hopefully it will help him to get on the right track..

All in all it just feels like we have grown apart, we used to be so close, and now I feel as if he hates me. I am very family oriented so it just hurts so much for the family to be like this. I just want us all to get along like we used to. Im tired of being hurt, im tired of fighting, Im just tired of it all. I just want him to get on track and live a quality educated life full of happiness.. and I feel as if he doesn't care about me at all..he came into my work today and just ignored me and it hurt.. I never thought we would grow apart like this, and I try to put everything behind me that he has done, but it's hard for me to do that, I wish we could grow back together but I'm not even sure if that will ever happen..

I think we are going to take our seperate paths in life and that will be it..the damage is done, i'm not sure if it can even be fixed.

Sorry that it is so long I just needed to get it out, thankyou so much if you actually read all that!!


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Re: Brother problems :( - July 29th 2009, 03:35 AM

Oh my its scary how exactly I feel lately..
my older sister and I had a huge agrgument, and in the end she convinced my she should take away my straightener. I mean, really, I paid for it yet she calls it "one of the many gifts she gave me" even though thats 30 dollars down the drain, plus my unmanageable hair will make me unrecognizable at school xD

but thats not that important to me. every fight between my parents..
every argument between my mom and my sister..
every time my dad curses out my sister and slams doors and yells [I loathe yelling by the way] ..

I feel so horrible.. I always wish I could go back in time and help stop the accident.

Just minutes ago [maybe an hour by now] my sister got our car in an accident and my dad was furious, along with my mom. Not so much the accident at first, but how she didnt call the police.. then the tidal wave of anger about her going to the party with barely any notice.. and another wave caused by the fact she went to a movie [in a friends car, which is when another person smashed ours, still parked by the party] completely unannounced.

I feel your pain. I wish things like this could be stopped. But, they just cant be o:
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Re: Brother problems :( - July 29th 2009, 12:33 PM

I'm sorry for all the troubles you have gone through at such a young age.. Not that i'm happy your going through this I'm just glad I found someone in the same situation as me. It's tough when you know your losing one of the links that holds your family together. Just maybe the pain we go through will someday make us stronger.. it's just a bit raw right now..

Take care and thanks for replying!


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Re: Brother problems :( - July 29th 2009, 01:25 PM

hi Grace,
thats a really tough thing to be going through, do you have anybody you feel comfortable neough with to talk to? if not, you can always talk to me
i think its brilliant that your brother is going to be getting help, that is the first step to recovery. have you spoken to him about how it makes you feel when he acts out the way he does? maybe tugging on his heart strings would work??
maybe you could explain how the drugs messed up your sister (i hope shes okay) and changed her completly, as drugs do to a person. i also believe weed is often the first step people take when getting into drugs. alcohol can make this even worse.
im sorry you feel like your moving apart from each other, thats clearly not what you want. have you spoken to him about that too? i doubt thats what he wants and im sure he would want to resolve things between you and the rest of your family.
siblings do grow apart as they get older, but he shouldnt be stealing from you and ignoring you, thats not fair on you. i dont blame you for being tired from trying to support him. but as hes going into counselling, i really think that is going to help.
i think all you can do is support him and talk to him, trying to get him through this difficult stage in all your lives.
PM me if i can help anymore or if you just want someone to listen
good luck, i hope everything works out.
Hannah X


"He who does not weep, does not see" - Les Miserables.

keep reaching and living your lives. you are who you are.

PM me whenever and ill do my best to help!

Im here if you ever need anyone to talk to or to have someone to listen to you
   
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Re: Brother problems :( - July 29th 2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by failuretosucceed View Post
I'm sorry for all the troubles you have gone through at such a young age.. Not that i'm happy your going through this I'm just glad I found someone in the same situation as me. It's tough when you know your losing one of the links that holds your family together. Just maybe the pain we go through will someday make us stronger.. it's just a bit raw right now..

Take care and thanks for replying!
Nah, I get what youre saying.
Life is tough and family problems make it tougher. No family`s perfect, but sometimes focusing on the good things more often can make it seem perfect. Like the smallest things, the things taken for granted, can brighten up a rainy day. Instead of thinking the obvious gloomy "I cant go outside" realize things like "I can stay inside" realizations like that can always help inany situation, even f only a little

Good luck in life ~
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Re: Brother problems :( - August 8th 2009, 11:48 PM

Thank you so much for the replys! Sorry it took so long for me to respond, I have a very busy schedule!

Hannah your post made me feel so much better about the whole situtation and actually he started his counceling and for the past week and a half there has been no fighting and we are all getting along so well! It has made me feel wonderful!

MissMatched-- Your last post made me realize that i really do need to focus more on the good then the bad. Sometimes I let myself look too negativley at a situation and that is not the way to go about things.

Thanks so much guys you all are very helpful!!



To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may mean the world.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor roosevelt




   
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