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Devon Donahue Offline
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Totally confused and lost - January 19th 2009, 07:02 PM

So my grandma's in the hospital. She's really, really sick, and has some sort of cancer on her intestine, or something. According to my dad, the word is that she only has days to live. If she does die, I won't be able to see her beforehand to say goodbye.

I have no idea how to cope with this. All my grandparents (plus one step-grandpa) are still living, and this is the first time I'll have to deal with the death of a family member I really know.
Should I be sadder than I am? Right now, the only time I've actually cried was when I called a friend of mine to tell her, and it didn't last long. And, while I'm upset, I can't help thinking that I'm kind of glad it wasn't my Nana, who I'm much closer with. I feel so horrible for thinking it, but...

I think I'm going to light a couple candles and pray for her, but I don't know what else to do, or really how to react. I'm just... really confused, and lost.
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Strider Offline
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Re: Totally confused and lost - January 19th 2009, 07:37 PM

Hi Devon,

It's perfectly fine to be confused and lost right now! I know I didn't cry when my great-grandmother died until my mom told me and gave me a hug. Sometimes it just takes a while. I think lighting candles and praying would be a great idea.
All the same, one person's place cannot replace another. I am glad you are happy your Nana is in good health, but there would be no way for your two grandparents to switch places. Just be thankful you have someone you care about around with you.

All the best to you and your family.
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Elizabeth Offline
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Re: Totally confused and lost - January 19th 2009, 07:50 PM

It is perfectly fine not to cry or to cry. Everyone is different and that is normal. I'm very sorry that you are losing your grandma, but try to spend time with her if you can. Remember the happy times you had together.
If lighting candles feels right, then do it. You may also want to try writing a poem.
I hope that you do get to spend time with your grandma before she passes.

PM me anytime if you need to talk.
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confused, lost, totally

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