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My mom and menopause. - August 8th 2009, 03:01 AM

Okay so my mom is on menopause. And i'm on puberty. And well she said she doesn't get any of the symptoms (hot flash, etc.) but she gets angry ALL THE TIME. over things that mean nothing. and it just makes me feel so ANGRY all the time. I hate this. If she doesn't understand something I say at first and I have to break it down for her she gets mad because I didn't explain it better or something. And if I say "see" or point at something she assumes i'm treating her like an idiot and leaves the store or something. Her tolerance level has gone down to the point where everything and anything can make her mad. Not only that, but I have no best friends, only occasional aquntainces and my sister and me are not close enough. I have no boyfriend and no one to talk to about this. I keep it all bottled up. No one else lives here full time cept me cause my sister Eva went off to college and My sister Teena had a baby and lives in tulsa and comes by occasionally. My dad works all day. I'm the only one who knows about all this. And she always says i'm wasting time infront of the computer and says to study even though it's summer and I don't actually have any textbooks TO study. ON top of that, if something happens and I say "it's not my fault" and sometimes it really, REALLY isn't my fault. She says "I never want to hear it's not your fault again!" and somehow, she can twist things to MAKE it my fault. And then whenever I get mad she goes off all "everything is MY fault, yeah thanx alot!" I hate it!!! I hate, hate,hate it!!! I don't know how to fix everything, or if I have to tell her, or if this big stupid thing is my fault!!! I don't even know!!! like if she gets sick she says "it's all your fault for not dressing in more layers" and it's like summer. uggh..someone. Please. tell. me. what. to. do!!!!!

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Re: My mom and menopause. - August 8th 2009, 03:13 AM

Hey there,

Menopause can be a tough time for people and I am sorry your mom has changed. I know it sucks but with time her mood changes might get better.

I was wondering if there is any way you could talk to your mom about this and explain how it is affecting you. I know talking can be hard but it might make your mom more understanding. When you have a conversation with her start by telling her how much she means to you and then say something like "I feel...when this happens" try not to point fingers or blame just have as normal of a conversation as possible.

If, for some reason, talking doesn't seem like it would work maybe you could write your mom a letter or email about all of this. Sometimes letters/emails work better than face to face conversations.

I hope this helped and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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Re: My mom and menopause. - August 9th 2009, 01:34 AM

Oh man, I know how you feel. I noticed many people here don't mention this when they say their parents are fighting, and let me just say that menopause can make moms go crazy.

(...Personally, though, if you ask me, I think my dad is getting worse, really...)

Anyways, my mom started going through menopause this year. She was supposed to go on it when she was 53, but she got her period again, and now she's 54 going on 55 now, and I'm pretty sure it's still kinda there. She's a mail carrier, so the heat exhausts her more often now, and when she gets home from work she's kinda 'light-headed.' But there's also times when the smallest thing will make her blow up, and she'll be so mad she'll jumble her words up.

My advice? You're 13, so you should be going in highschool soon, right? I'd try out for a bunch of after-school activities to avoid your mom if you want to. But, rest assured, extreme menopause lasts for only a year or so.
   
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