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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry How do I deal with them? - August 10th 2009, 12:47 PM

Hello all,

I'm having a lot of problems dealing with my parents as of late. I think it's just because I'm moving out so soon that all the stuff I've blocked out for the past 20 years is not really starting to irritate me more.

Currently, my mother is in the middle of a bipolar meltdown that's been going on since like April. She does not believe me when I tell her that she is either being manicy or depressed, or that it has any correlation with her bipolar disorder at all. The thing is, I've seen her go through this 3 times before, so I think I know when she's not exactly all there. I just... I'm trying really hard, but I don't know how much more of it I can take. I know when you have someone with a mental disorder you need to be supportive, but this is a whole different ballgame. One minute she's laughing and making connections to things that... have no real connection or meaning. She cannot keep conversations going, she always switches to totally irrelevant things and then starts laughing hysterically or crying. I've gotten to the point that when she cries I just get annoyed and angry. Or when she changes the subject. I feel like I can't even talk to her anymore, like I don't even have a mom. Atleast when she was constantly depressed she was calmer and easier to talk to. I just... I need help handling her. I'm out of here in two months, so I just need to hold off until then and then I'll get a little break and hopefully feel better about her.

Then there's my dad. He's so verbally abusive and just has the quickest temper I've ever seen. Today I walked out into the kitchen and they were fighting about toilet paper! I can't deal with him either. Once 6am rolls around and he wakes up if he gets angry he goes around rampaging around the house and I can't get any sleep. It's been like this for 20 years, but I'm just so worn down from mom's manic craze that it's hard to have enough energy to deal with him. And then when both of them start fighting with mom in manic mode and dad just being a crazy f'er like he is it just gets too much.

I am litereally just worn down to the bone. I can't get any alone time unless I'm not here, and even then mom is calling me saying weird stuff. How do you deal with a bipolar mother and... a father like mine? I keep telling myself it's just two months, but it feels like it's the longest two months of my life. Please help, especially if you too have someone in your family who is bipolar and refuses help...

P.S- As I write this my father is yelling in the bathroom and slamming the toilet seat down. WTF!? Why the hell is my family so friggin crazy!



   
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Katrina Offline
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Re: How do I deal with them? - August 12th 2009, 12:42 PM

Hey Jessica.

Sorry that I or someone else wasn't able to reply to this sooner. I realize that this is something weighing heavily on your heart, so I hope that now a few of us might be able to help you out a little bit. You definitely don't deserve to have so much stress piled up on you.

When do you move out, exactly? I think it's great for you to move out, but I hate for you to leave your family so broken, even if it's not your job to repair it. Has your family ever thought about going to some sort of family counseling? I really think this would benefit you guys enormously. I don't know how you'd feel about suggesting this to your mom and dad - would you want to wait until you were about to move out? I dunno. Even couples counseling for them. I'm not saying that they can't work out it themselves, because I'm sure they can. It's just that your mom's emotional issues combined with your dad's temper problems might create a whole lot of dangerous waters, if that makes sense.

I guess the only way I can really help is by encouraging you to hang in there until it's time for you to move out. You're going to have so much fun living on your own (or even being back in the dorm at school if that's where you're heading). Until you are able to move out, though, just try to stick it out. You've done this for twenty years, you're so strong, and I think you can do it for just a little bit more. Best of luck anddd take good care of yourself!



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