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xlovex Offline
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Question I'm too shy! - August 16th 2009, 05:54 PM

Ugh. Sometimes I just really don't get myself. I've always been shy. My mom had to introduce me to my first friends in Kindergarten. I wasn't like that in preschool, but then I just would only talk to my friends. The teacher made me nervous. I hate being singled out. I hate awkward situations.

It's just that around some people I feel like I can let loose and be my crazy self. Other people just make me plain nervous. For example, I was working at an elementary school fair during spring. I was with a friend I feel comfortable around. A guy who went to my elementary school but went to a different middle school was with us. After a while joking around and laughing, he says this:

"Wow. I remember in Elementary school I used to think you were so shy and quiet."

That got me. See, part of the reason I don't talk to people I know from school is cause I think they think I'm weird. I know I shouldn't care what others think, but I can't help it. I need friends. I have some, but I always want MORE!

So, how do you make friends with people you know but who think your a freak who doesn't talk? Haha. Thanks

I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat, I could only see one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. Why, when I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you."

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Re: I'm too shy! - August 16th 2009, 06:18 PM

Hey Rachel!

It's great to see you coming and asking for help in the forums, I hope I can be of some kind of help to you. Now, on to what you were asking about...

I highly doubt people at school think you're a freak! People are often intimidated by people who don't talk, because they don't know what they are thinking. With people who are really open, people always know where they stand with them. The problem is, when you don't talk people let their minds wander, "I wonder if shes upset about something" or, "Does she dislike me?". That kind of stuff can really affect how a person sees you.

Try joining clubs or trying out for sports teams. Very easy ways to meet people and show off your strengths. Once people get to know you better their supposed opinions of you will change. They are just unsure of how to act around you at the moment.

Also, talk more in class! To the people around you, or answer more questions. People will get more used to the idea that you are there, and you do have a voice!

Try meeting people through friends, hang out with people you normally wouldn't, you'll be surprised how quickly your circle of friends can grow.

Don't let this worry you, so many people are in your position! You are not alone! Take a deep breath and say, "I can do this, there's nothing to fear, I've known these peope for years".

Good luck! I bet you'll do great!
PM me if you ever need anything.
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Re: I'm too shy! - August 18th 2009, 05:56 AM

You really aren't alone Rachel!

I am fairly shy in a lot of situations to be honest. Perhaps I am not as shy as you in the friends department, but I know for a fact I get anxiety from public speaking so bad I have a doctors note so I could avoid any presentations in class.

I find that getting to know people you have never talked to is definately something that takes a big step. I find one of the best ways to get to know someone is to find something to talk about. I think knowing what to say is the key part in being shy; you just don't want to look stupid. I think the best thing you could do is observe the people you want to talk to.

For example assuming you have never met this person before: Say you want to get to know Lily a little better and possibly be friends. When Lily is in class, what kind of clothes does she wear? Are they interesting? If so start off the conversation with a "Hey, I really like that shirt of yours. It has really interesting designs." Thats always an excellent way to start a conversation. If they are nice and interested in talking they are likely to say "Thanks I got this from _______." and sometimes they might say they hate the shirt but you could always say "No, I think it looks good on you. I personally like wearing _____ but I'm not so sure if they suit me." That sort of thing.

Its a lot easier to talk to someone if they are reading a book, because you could ask them about it and if it was any good. Try just stepping out of your shell a little at a time. Go out to the mall and maybe if the opportunity comes along where you can converse with someone give it a shot. Small talk is wonderful and will definately take you far. With time you will gain more confidence.

I hope this helps, and if you want to know more just let me know.
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