TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Dying To Get Out
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
FeelingLikeIHaveFallen's Avatar
 
Name: Amanda
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Alberta, Canada

Posts: 8
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Angry I am getting so tired of it (long) - January 20th 2009, 05:13 PM

Okay so heres my story
i moved to this small city about a year ago, and i know that brothers are suppose to be annoying and whatever, but is there a time when it becomes to much?

Ever since i moved here, my brother has been having a hard time adjusting becuase he can't make friends. He hangs around me all the time at school and refuses to go with his one friend that he does have. I am currently in grade 12, going throught my diploma exams (our finals), and i am slightly getting sick of it.

He's only 18 months younger than me and we fight alot. I don't care that he hangs around me other than when he gets in my face, like he does alot. or interupts a conversation to ask a stupid question. but thats not why i have been upset.

We get home and we goes straight to his games. He doesn't do anything for himself. I have to wake him up, i have to make sure he has his lunch, i have to make sure that he applys for jobs or remembers when he has to work. If he forgets something its all my fault and he makes my parents believe me. We have to share the downstairs with my ther brother and don't get me wrong, its not the worse thing until he starts yelling at his game at 11pm while i need to go to work in the morning. i get so frustrated that i yell and it makes things worse.

He doesn't take responsiblity for anything. i am not allowed to get upset when things happen but he can have an out brust. (he's not the youngest, but the second oldest of 7!) It's starting to get on my nerves because he calls me all types of names, and then says that people coming into my room (mainly my cats finding a way to open my door) is all my fault and his stupid dog comes in and spills my coffee all over the place, when he is only sitting steps away.

I get mad, upset and stressed when things like this happen. But when i get mad, i am the one who gets in trouble. My parents don't see what i am going throught, and yell at me. He gets off free, yelling and swearing at me.

I need advice, what should I do? should I talk to a consellor at school? I don't think that i should have to be his personal helper and have him treat me like this. it makes me feel like a slave.. His F***ing 16 years old, should he not be taking care of himself?

I just want to know when enough is enough?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
Tash-la
I've been here a while
********
 
Strider's Avatar
 
Name: Nat
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: A broken glass picture

Posts: 1,448
Join Date: January 19th 2009

Re: I am getting so tired of it (long) - January 20th 2009, 05:29 PM

Hey there Amanda,

You are completely right- you should not have to be doing everything for him! What he needs the most right now is to learn some responsibility on his own. If that means to stop reminding him of things he should be remembering on his own, then that's what it takes. Let him learn for himself, or he'll never be able to manage on his own. Your brother and parents might be mad at first, but they will learn that this is his responsibility and not yours eventually.

This is a big year for you, and that means a lot of your own responsibilities with your own work. Your brother is old enough to do things on his own. It's time for you to look out for yourself.

As for your brother hanging out with you at school, you should probably just tell him that sometimes you like hanging out with your friends on your own sometimes or that why doesn't he hang out with one of his friends. He'll get the point after a while.

If you feel you need to talk to a counselor, it wouldn't hurt, but I think you can solve this on your own by just looking out for you. That doesn't mean ignoring your brother, it just means letting him take care of himself.

I hope you are doing well.
Nat.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
newbie552 Offline
choose wisely
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
newbie552's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 536
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I am getting so tired of it (long) - January 21st 2009, 03:48 PM

That really sucks!!! Brothers can be annoying. Have you tried talking to your parents about it?
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
eunoia Offline
(n) beautiful thinking
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
eunoia's Avatar
 
Name: Jes
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 5,888
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: I am getting so tired of it (long) - January 21st 2009, 06:56 PM

Hey Amanda,

It seems like your relationship with your brother gets pretty strained at times. I know how that is—I have an older brother. I don’t want to generalize, because I absolutely hate when people do that, but it seems that sometimes teenagers just aren’t willing to take responsibility for themselves. My brother is three years older and I honestly felt like his keeper, sometimes! I had to wake him up, and do a lot of the things you do for your brother.

I can’t tell you he’ll ever wise up and leave well enough alone. I think that siblings fight a lot and manage not to tear each other’s heads off because they love one another. That doesn’t make it easy, though, when you’re put into situations you shouldn’t have to be in.

I think, also, that our parents either don’t know what it’s like (because they didn’t have siblings) or can’t remember what it’s like, to fight with brothers and sisters. They expect their children to “get along” and “love each other,” and forget that sometimes people argue, even when they do love one another.

One of the only pieces of advice I can offer is to try very, very hard to control your temper. When you feel like shouting, say what you were going to say, in an even tone. You know that yelling makes things worse, and it will take practice not to shout, but it will teach him through example that calm is better than loud.

When he calls you names, correct him. If that doesn’t work, try your best to ignore him. Remember that this is his way of getting under your skin, and if you ignore him, he will begin to realize it isn’t working anymore. Honestly, that makes it less fun, for him.

About your parents—I think that approaching them when you are calm would be best. Gather your thoughts and go to them. Explain that you understand you are older than him, and that you are going to try to remain calm when he has upset/angered you. Ask them that, in return, they understand that you are only human and can become frustrated, and that they not yell at you. Explain to them how being yelled at makes you feel, and that you would much prefer to sit down and talk with them, calmly and as adults. I reckon they might appreciate your honesty and make a good faith effort to respect your wishes.

It also might be a good idea to talk to your counselor, at school. They may be able to help with some things, provide an ear, and give you advice on how to handle things at home.

Also, remember that you have a right to stick up for yourself—don’t let anyone, even your brother, take advantage of you. Simply try to respond to him in a calm manner, and see how things go.



Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
long, tired

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.