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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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M.e.g Offline
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Name: Meg Johnston
Age: 26
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My dad makes me feel useless - September 2nd 2009, 08:20 PM

Me and my dad used to be really close, and we got on really well. Since he got a new girlfriend, our relationship has been deteriorating because he spends all his time with his girlfriend and her kids. I try to get involved, my brothers and sister get on really well with them but they seem to completely ignore my. I recently came back from Canada visiting my mum and then I decided to move there to do college after coming back. I told my dad and he was fine with it, and I quit school instead of staying on to do Highers. I'm moving in two weeks, and it's been 2 weeks since I left school. My dad keeps telling me to get a job and I keep telling him thet there's no point because nowhere here will employ me for four weeks. Now that I'm temporarily out of school and work he keeps telling me that I'm lazy and useless and fat. My sister has been out of school and work for 2 years and he never nags her. He makes me feel awful even though I've done nothing wrong.
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Re: My dad makes me feel useless - September 4th 2009, 03:15 PM

Hey. I'm really sorry that you feel this way and that your relationship with your dad isn't great. Maybe you should talk to him about how you've been feeling. You could also try and schedule a day where it could be just you and him. Go out for lunch, do something fun. You are not lazy, useless, or fat. Just believe in yourself and hang in there. Everything is your choice, just make the right ones. And if you make a mistake, it's okay because you'll learn from it. Good luck! PM me if you want to talk.

"It's amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile."

"Every story has an end, but in life every end is just a new beginning."
-Uptown Girls
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Pandamonium Offline
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Re: My dad makes me feel useless - September 4th 2009, 04:22 PM

Hey Meg,

I would try talking to your Dad if he'll listen. Just let him know that he isn't helping you out by saying those things and that he should know better. As a compromise, perhaps you could look/apply for jobs despite the four weeks as long as he doesn't keep bringing you down about it. Also don't be afraid to let him know that you miss the time you used to have with him -- he may not realize he's spending less time with you and focusing on only his girlfriend/kids.

Your Dad is probably just worried you'll have a hard time finding a job and will end up without a job for quite a while. For whatever reason, parents worrying often comes out as them being mean. If he continues with the comments, try not to let them get to you. You know what he's saying isn't true.
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