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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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LittleMiss Offline
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Living with the younger sibling(s) from hell - September 11th 2009, 10:29 AM

I'm the eldest of three girls and my middle sister is 14. And she drives me up the wall.
She is part of the 'whatever' generation. The ones who roll their eyes and respond to everything with a flick of the hair and a disdainful "What...EVERR".

She rules the house. Seriously. She sits at her laptop every day on facebook and doesn't help out with anything unless she's nagged.
She generally ignores me or treats me with absolute bitchiness.
I think my mother's scared of her. If I treated her (mum) like my sister treats her, I would get yelled at, grounded and in a lot of hot water. My sister occasionally gets a "That wasn't very polite."

My mother has said that my sister was a bit of a shock because at her age, I was quiet and mature. She's an active volcano. You say her name, she explodes at you. She's really nasty to my youngest sister who is 12 and I hate it.

I've tried to talk to her about it and she says that I treat her like she's stupid and that I annoy her. I barely talk to her. I try to avoid her. I wish I could have a good relationship with her but it doesn't work. Whenever she talks to anyone in our immediate family she uses a really disdainful, disrespectful tone that makes me really angry. It basically says "Well, you're stupid and not worth my attention and I'm too good for the likes of you."

If I talk to my parents about it they say it's none of my business. The only person who can control her at all is my dad. Because he has a really scary, explosive temper. But he doesn't intervene much.

The thing is that I'll be living with her for the next 5-7 years. How on earth am I meant to cope?

Anyone else have the sibling(s) from hell?


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Re: Living with the younger sibling(s) from hell - September 12th 2009, 02:36 PM

Christiiine.

Jeeze, sounds a lot like my sister, actually. She's 15, and a whole lot like that. Thing is, most of my siblings are brothers, and we're not really.. explosive or tempermental. I've had it pretty easy until these past couple years, when my sister turned into one of "those", that you're describing right now. The best way to deal with her is to ignore her, probably. I know it sounds kind of mean, and that you want a relationship with her, but she will grow out of it in a couple years, most likely. Or, that's what I keep telling myself!

Our situations are different however, because I don't live with my parents anymore, hence, I don't have to deal with her all the time. But, the best advice I can give you is to just let her do her thing, it's not your job to discipline her. No matter how maddening it is to see her treating your mother, or other reletives with disrespect, if that's how your mom is going to allow her to be, then that really is her own problem. Clearly she's done a good job with you, she can be proud of that!

There is some occasions that someone like your sister would listen to you over your parents, because of the closeness in age, and she may feel you 'get' her more. But the problem is, you've already tried talking to her and she just seems to explode at you, which is just not a good situation at all.

I'd say ignore it mostly, if you really need to step in, do so. But only if you really need to. Other then that, all I can say is good luck, so many teenage girls are like that now, and it's getting out of control..

Hopefully they grow out of it!

Take care,
Dylan.
   
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Re: Living with the younger sibling(s) from hell - September 12th 2009, 03:14 PM

Hey Christine!

Boy, do I know how you're feeling!!! I have a younger (cousin) sister - and she's as bad as if I had my own sibling! She's 14 now, and she's a royal pain in the ass! And strangely, she's treated exactly the way your younger sister is treated, and I get blamed for not teaching her how to behave. Although, no one bothers to correct her!
I get really pissed off by the way she acts! She's so pompous and thinks she has to have everything her way, and if she doesn't, soon, a tantrum will follow!!

I've been blamed all the time for her behaviour. She has no respect for anyone around her, despite the fact that they are older than her! It's very hard to deal with, because, sometimes, she gets very violent! She is very disdainful indeed and very spoilt, not to leave out whiny, and rude! She always has to get her way!

it's really hard to deal with these people! Dylan is right, so many teenage girls are like that now! I really do pray they grow out of it, it's getting too hard to handle!

The least I can do, is tell you that you are not alone. It will be very hard to develop a proper relationship with her, and it will take loads of patience and time. But, for now, I think you should just ignore her and go about what you have to do! Don't pick things up for her, and do her work for her. She needs to learn that she has responsibilities too, and it's high time she got to know them, because, if she were 11 or 12, it would be okay for her to slack a little. But, she's 14! It's time for her to pick up her sticks and if she is not willing to take help from others, then she has to learn herself!

Hope things get better!! I'm always around if you need to talk (or bitch )!!
Take care!
Hugs


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In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

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Re: Living with the younger sibling(s) from hell - September 13th 2009, 12:10 PM

Thanks guys.

Another things that really annoys me is that, if I take her into town, take her shopping and buy her lunch (with my own hard earned money), no thanks. None at all.
If she buys herself food from places or something, she never shares. Even if I ask nicely.
Once she bought a pack of six rolls to go with our lunch (soup from home) because she couldn't find the single ones and when I asked for one she told me that I had to PAY her for it!

It's ridiculous!


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