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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Jesus Christ. Offline
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Should I? - September 14th 2009, 09:49 PM

Well, to start off with, one of my friends (one of my oldest friends at that) is engaged to some guy she's known for 8 months, and only ever met once from what I know. I think she's rushed into it, and like with most things I would of only told her my opinion, not tried to persuade her not to get married, but what I'm wondering is, should I? I mean, I want to persuade her not to, but I don't want to fall out with her, or upset her, and I know she has her own rights and everything.

So please, your opinions, should I try and persuade her not to get married?
And please don't give me loads of crap about stuff like 'She has her rights' blah blah blah etc.

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Re: Should I? - September 14th 2009, 10:08 PM

the thing with trying to persuade to not marry him is only going to push her away and make her want to marry him more.
maybe sit down and talk to her about is it what she really wants she really want to marry a guy she met once etc.


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Re: Should I? - September 14th 2009, 11:07 PM

Hi Keady,

As much as it is going to nag and bother at you, I do not think you should try and persuade your friend not to get married. However, I do think you have a right to ask her questions and have her think these things through herself. I think it's alright to ask her if she thinks this is the right time and if this guy is the right guy for her. Let her know that you just want her to be conscious and careful about her future and that you want the guy she ends up marrying to be exactly the guy she wants and one who will make her happy.

What you should not do is persuade her or make her upset. She is your friend, and this is not worth a falling out. Be supportive of her- even if you aren't supportive of her decision.

Nat.


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Re: Should I? - September 15th 2009, 04:01 PM

Hey Keady

I agree with Wake and Strider, persuading is probably not the way to go about doing this. I ahve tried this with my mom and her boyfriend, and well, they are getting married within the next year or so... So it doesn't work that well.

What I sugguest is to sit down with her, and have a friend-to-friend talk. Ask her about how she feels about him, why she loves him. How they met, what about him that she loves(some people only love somone for certain things, good thing to bring these out for her to think about) And pretty much just try and find out everything you can. And maybe he is the right guy for her.

They have only met once that you know of, maybe they have met more than just that, you never know. But if you are worried and concerned I agree that persuading is not the way to go about it. Talking to her and maybe the guy is your best bet. Maybe the guy has some interesting things to say. You never know.

All I can say is talk to her about it, and just see what happens. If they do get married then there is not much you can do, it is her life and if she thinks or does love him, then there is nothing you can do other than be happy for her and be there for her.











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