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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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bongobid07 Offline
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to call or not to call? - September 22nd 2009, 10:50 AM

So here's the low down...
I was working for this company for two odd years, and recently have been retrenched. It should be noted that the company I was working for was a small one. There were two managers and an employee (me). Throughout my two years working there I developed friendships with (lets call him) Person A and whilst everything was fine with Person B, by the end of my employment, I would say I was better friends with person A than B (I think it was merely a personality compatibility as person A likes the general stuff that I do and he is closer to my age etc)

Before I left I said I would hope to like remain friends with both of them, which they said definitely. Person B was about to leave on an overseas holiday trip and has only just returned. Before he left, he said he would give me a call when he returns to see what's new etc and tell me about his trip etc (as any friend would).

My question is, now that I know he is back (and has been back for over a week now), is it too soon for me to call him to say a general hello and how was the holiday even though he said he would call me? We've exchanged brief greetings over facebook (a mere 'hello'), but I don't want to seem rude by not calling him. I want to call and say hi and keep the communication flowing, but i don't want it to seem too pushy or too soon, especially because he said he would call me. What would be the appropriate amount of time to wait to see what happens? I'm guessing I should give it a few weeks as he is probably busy returning to normal life, but once again - I don't want to appear rude by not calling.

Any advice on what road I should take would greatly be appreciated.
   
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Re: to call or not to call? - September 22nd 2009, 12:05 PM

Hey!
First off, Welcome to TH!
Hope you find it as amazing and helpful and as friendly as I do!

Well, I think, you could give it a little more time. It won't seem like you're bring rude, because he did say that he'd call when he gets back! But maybe you could give a couple of days more, and if he doesn't call you, you could make a call to him, and tell Person B that you realized that he was back from his holiday and you wanted to give him time to get back to his normal routine, or something??!!
But I suggest give it a couple or more days??
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Re: to call or not to call? - September 22nd 2009, 10:03 PM

Hi there,

It's great to have you here on TeenHelp. Welcome to the site If you have any questions or want to talk, please feel free to message me any time and I'd be happy to help you out.

Now, as for your situation I think you should just call your friend. It could be that he's been too busy getting back into his routine and thinking about his holiday that he may have forgotten to call. I know after holidays things can get pretty hectic, so that could be why he hasn't phoned you yet.

I don't see the problem with calling him now. It's been a week, and he should have gotten into his routine by now. Just call and say a general hello and ask him if he'd like to hang out sometime to talk about his trip. He'll either say he's busy or can make it. Find a time that suits you both and go for it.

If he has forgotten to call, then he might think it odd that you haven't contacted him about his trip until weeks later. Might as well call him now.

Take care.
Nat.


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Re: to call or not to call? - September 23rd 2009, 06:54 PM

I don't see the problem with giving him a call, just say you'd like to catch up on coffee, the worst he can say is he's busy and then you can leave the ball in his court to return the call when he's ready. You really don't have anything to lose!





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Re: to call or not to call? - September 24th 2009, 01:50 AM

Thanks heaps for all your help. Sorry I should have mentioned though that he lives like 2.5 hours away from me so catching up for coffee or something may be a bit too hard at this stage.

I have just found out he is having a sort of party on Saturday (not through him though - i happened to find the post on facebook). Now, i'm one who doesn't like to turn up to these events uninvited (another problem not for this post). I think he knows that I know about this party, but hasn't said anything (like "hey, you should come" or whatever).

It's on saturday (today is thursday), and although I am working on saturday, I could make the 2.5 hour trip after work but don't think its worth it if i don't know anyone else there apart from him and he'll be busy talking to other guests anyway.

My plan was to call him tomorrow just as suggested- a general hello - and see what happens from there. See if he mentions his party the next day or not. If not, then at least i know where i stand.

In regards to him calling me, i should have also mentioned i was warned (by the other employee where I was working) that he's not really that type of person to call and say hey. He is the more type of person to talk via msn or somethin'. I think he just said "i'll give you a call when you return" just to fill the silence almost and has probably already forgotten he said that.
   
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Re: to call or not to call? - September 27th 2009, 10:03 PM

WELCOME TO TEEN HELP!!!!!!!!
   
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Re: to call or not to call? - September 28th 2009, 12:48 PM

... call him!!!
.. like you said, maybe he just forgot. just give him a call, bcos if things do mess up later on, u'll just sit adn regret not doing enough to save ur friendship. if he doesnt invite u to the party, then take the hint.
but if u want to confront him abt tht, do it after the party...so he doesnt feel pressurized into inviting, and so u get down to the truth of the matter. ..
   
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