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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
saxyphone Offline
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Name: Nicole
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My best friend is acting sleazy. And I'm jealous???? - September 26th 2009, 06:03 PM

So my friend is very popular with the boys. Recently, okay not recently but since last year, she's been acting like a complete slut around them! Legitimate slut, like she's making out with them, wearing risque clothes, and just acting slutty. I know this isn't who she is. And she's going to homecoming with my ex. He really really likes her. She's leading him on while she's taking off her shirt for other guys. It's not fair to him. He's a really nice guy. Should I tell him or stay out of it? And how can I avoid being jealous of her getting all the guys and not act sleazy myself?


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Re: My best friend is acting sleazy. And I'm jealous???? - September 28th 2009, 02:32 AM

basically know that the girl tht doesnt get all the guys gets the great guy.
... a guy who's attracted to WHO u r rather than wat u look like and dress like.
she seems to be attracting for all the wrong reasons, and tht's a reason not to be jealous. they're not attracted to the person she is inside.

before talking to ur ex, it'll be a good idea to talk to her.
tell her tht u think it's unfair to him.
tell her tht u think she's being used, and using. and remind her tht tht's not who she is. remind her tht wat she's doing is sumwat degrading... also try to find out if sumthing else is going on, sumtimes we act out of place bcos of other things... let her know she can trust u, let her know ur not judging her adn try ur best to really understand.
if all this fails
tell him, but be careful. dnt paint her black, just make sure he knows she's just not that into him... try to get him to confront her, and make it seem like he's going it on his own, without u involved, bcos once she knows ur involved, she'll think it's bcos ur jealous.
if u get into this- be careful.

hope tht helped! .. oh and excuse my spelling
   
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Re: My best friend is acting sleazy. And I'm jealous???? - September 28th 2009, 10:01 PM

Hi Nicole,

Guys that want a girl just because she is willing to make out or take her shirt off are not worth your time. I understand that you are jealous of the attention your friend is getting, but that probably isn't the kind of attention you would want. You deserve to be in a relationship with a guy who cares about you and respects you.

As for your ex, that is one really tricky situation. I think the best thing to do would be to just tell him to be careful and keep himself aware of the situation. Other than that, there are things he should probably learn on his own, and it's probably not a good idea to get involved. I know that you feel compelled to warn him, but it isn't worth the possibility of losing a friend or causing an argument.

You don't need to dress slutty to get the kind of guy who really matters. Dress how you like to dress and be yourself and you will find the right guy for you. It may take a little while, but you've got time! You are only 14, and guys around your age are often pretty immature (not all, but quite a few). Give yourself some time and just be yourself.

Take care.
Nat.


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Re: My best friend is acting sleazy. And I'm jealous???? - September 28th 2009, 11:21 PM

I'm in the same situation. I'm sorry, i'm not sure what advice to give to you about your ex. But PLEASE don't think act sleazy so you can get attention yourself. I'm in the same situation with my best friend and sometimes I do wonder if I should act like her to get guys but I guess self-respect for myself is more important to me than some idiots.

I think you should find friends who aren't like that. I don't mean cut your friend out of your life but you shouldn't have to be around people that make you feel bad about yourself, even if it's not their intention.
   
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Re: My best friend is acting sleazy. And I'm jealous???? - September 28th 2009, 11:27 PM

Thanks everyone for your help!
Well I talked to her today about it and she said she does this because she feels disliked by the girls (surprise surprise) and she feels this is how she can keep the guys on her good side. So I offered to help her a little more and be there for her. Does that sound good?


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Turn, turn turn!
   
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Re: My best friend is acting sleazy. And I'm jealous???? - September 28th 2009, 11:29 PM

Acting sleezy isnt right, it sends out the wrong message to guys- its says look at me i am easy. you want guys to respect you and you also need to have self respect as well. finding the right guy doesnt mean you have to wear tight clothes and make out with every guy you see. just be yourself. If your friend is acting like this then find some other friends that you can have until she see what she is doing. Dont be jelous of her because theres nothing to be jelous of. so she is getting guys attention but its not the attention a girl needs.
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