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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Delta 72 Offline
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Name: Matt
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I feel like I don't belong - January 23rd 2009, 09:50 PM

I'm somewhat of a loner. Sure I have friends, but most of them belong to different social groups (band geeks, jocks, techies, emos, actors/actresses, skaters) and they usually just want to hang out with their friends from their respective groups. Even when they do invite me along, I feel as though I'm always the odd one out, no matter which group I hang out with. For example when I'm with my friend who hangs out with these guys that are obsessed with drinking and getting laid, I don't drink much if at all, and I'd really rather have a long term relationship with someone I actually like rather than just have sex with whoever will sleep with me. So I basically feel like I'm that nerd who doesn't want to "have fun". But when I'm with my friends who are in band, I sort of feel the opposite. I feel like I'm the only one who really wants to do stuff. I know that those are just two different examples, but I just can't seem to find a group that I can truely be myself in and its frustrating.
   
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Re: I feel like I don't belong - January 23rd 2009, 10:03 PM

That's life. I hate to say it, but that's the way it is.

The best way to deal with it is to stop thinking of them as discrete groups. Think of people as persons, not as their social network. It's tough to do, but it's a tiny thought modification that can make you a lot more comfortable when hanging out with folks.
   
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ElToroLoco Offline
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Re: I feel like I don't belong - January 23rd 2009, 10:26 PM

at least u have friends.
i droped out of high school 2months ago, couldnt stand it, i have social phobia
   
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Re: I feel like I don't belong - January 24th 2009, 01:05 PM

Hi Matt,

It may take some getting used to being in different groups all at once, but I think it is good that you have friends in many different areas. You don't need to like doing everything that they do, and you shouldn't feel pressured by them. I would just suggest to have fun hanging out with them. Encourage them to do other things if they don't like getting out much and just have fun when you are with the others. You have your own values about drinking and sex, and if they are your friends then they will respect that.

If you would like to make new friends, maybe try joining some clubs or teams at school or get involved in your community.

All the best to you.
Nat.


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