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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Nicholaa Offline
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He hit me!! This is all my fault!! Idk what to do!!!! - October 7th 2009, 08:55 PM

My dad hit me last night...this is the whole story..

I was outside sitting...wanted to get away from all the fighting..I heard someone come outside..I thought it was my brother getting away from it too...then I heard my dad's voice...he was on the phone..he was talking to his girlfriend..he said "I know baby, I don't even want to be here but I have to deal with this shit a couple more days"...I know he didn't care but hearing him say that really hurt..he's my dad and I want him to love me...but ugh...anyways..he started talking dirty to his girlfriend and I couldn't take it anymore so I jumped out of my hiding spot and tried to run by him but he grabbed my arm and told me not to tell my mom..then my mom yelled that dinner was ready..he just held my arm and stared at me..it made me feel akward so I nodded my head just to get away from him..we were all sitting at the table for dinner..my dad keep playing on his phone..I kept thinking he was prolly texting his other woman..it made me sick...I snapped..I know I should have just kept my mouth shut but I couldn't do it..it hurt too much..so I just started screaming..I don't even remember what I said really..I know I said I hated him over and over again..that he wasn't my dad..I told my mom about what I heard outside...then before I knew it my dad slapped me and called me a "little bitch" I fell on the floor he hit me so hard. It felt like the side of my face was on fire and I stared to crying. I remember saying "why don't you love us" and everything else is kind of a blur...my mom started screaming, my brother jumped up so fast his chair flew backwards and almost hit me..my little brother was crying..so my sister put him in my arms and told me to go upstairs with him...I did and she came up after and said she called the police..my dad ended up leaving before the cops got here..when I came back downstairs my mom was still crying and my brother's lip and nose were bleeding and he had blood on his shirt and hand..it was my dad's blood I'm guessing..my mom is filing for divorce..I don't know what's going to happen to my dad...I didn't ask...I feel horrible tho..I feel like this is all my fault..if I just kept my mouth shut none of this would have happened..I ruined everyone life..I heard my mom talking with my sister..she said she doesn't make enough to support us esp with a new baby that's why she put up with my father..so now my sister has to get a job after school..I've made everything worst...my brother hasn't talked to me sense..I feel like he hates me now..it's my fault our dad left for good...I'm just a selfish little brat.
   
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Re: He hit me!! This is all my fault!! Idk what to do!!!! - October 7th 2009, 09:37 PM

Hi Nichola,

There is nothing- nothing- selfish about wanting to be loved and cared for from your dad and wanting the best for your family. You have nothing to feel bad for and you did not do anything wrong. This is not your fault at all. I'm going to say this again, Nichola, this is not your fault.

It was unsafe and unfair that your family had to put up with your dad's behaviour for so long. It is not worth putting yourselves in that situation, even if it is to cover the bills. You deserve something more from your dad, and you have nothing to be ashamed about.

I am incredibly proud of you for staying so strong through all this. It must have been so hard to be treated that way by your dad. It sounds like you care a lot about your family and only wanted to do what is right.

Things might start off a bit difficult for a while, but it is a lot better for everyone in your family to not have to put up with all of that crap from your dad. No one deserves to be abused emotionally and physically that way, and you don't need to put up with it anymore.

As for your financial situation, talk to your mom about her filing for a divorce and see what she can do about getting child support from your dad. Since he was paying the bills before, he is probably financially able to pay child support, and that would help out a lot. If that still doesn't cover living expenses, then there is no shame in applying for financial need. This is something your mom will need to decide on her own, but it is still an option available to you.

It sounds like your dad did some pretty terrible things, and you shouldn't have had to put up with them. I would have done the exact same thing as you did if I were in your situation. Don't feel bad about letting your frustration and anger out. Things were just so overwhelming and you had to do it. There isn't anything wrong with that, and I think it was the right thing to do.

If you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate to PM me. I'm always here to chat if you need to.
Things will start looking up, Nichola.

Take care.
Nat.


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Re: He hit me!! This is all my fault!! Idk what to do!!!! - October 8th 2009, 09:31 PM

Thanks...this is just so hard. I thought I'd be happy once he was gone for good...figured we could all move on and things would get better...I don't know anymore if things will ever get better..
My brother still isn't talking to me really..he asked me if my face still hurt yesterday and I said just alittle and he just nodded and walked away..I want to ask him if he hates me now but I'm scared of his answer..
I haven't gone to school yet..my mom called and talked to my teachers..I couldn't bare going into school with my side of my face all black and blue..people would def know someone hit me and I just can't face my friends yet..I know I shouldn't be embarrassed but I am.
My mom said this wasn't my fault either, that if he was that kind of man to harm his own children that she would rather struggle without him.
I just really wish Gavrael would talk to him, I hate when he is mad at me. I asked my mom what happened after I went upstairs but she won't tell me..she just said to give my brother some space..I just feel like my life is on a stand still in hell.
   
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Re: He hit me!! This is all my fault!! Idk what to do!!!! - October 8th 2009, 10:42 PM

awww, u seem so nice and u really shouldnt worry! u did the right thing! imagine, this affair going on for ages and then it gets blurted out by ur dad or soething and she asks if u knew u wud feel guilty!

u saved her the hurt and should be proud!


Candy =)
   
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