TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
mr_null Offline
Formerly known as mr_null
Average Joe
***
 
mr_null's Avatar
 
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Location: Canada

Posts: 101
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Resent my dad, can anyone else empathize? - October 9th 2009, 07:26 PM

I've been going crazy living with my parents for a while now, and today I broke down and told my mom about it. She is willing to pay for rent for a few months for me to live on my own for a while, but when I tried explaining the issues I have with my dad she took his side and didn't really get me.

I am as close to hating my dad as I've ever been. My problem with him is I feel he's been a terrible role model all my life. He's awkward around other people, he's a giant slob, he has disgusting eating habits, he's impossible to relate to, he's a giant prude and has hangups about sex, he's anxious and obsessive, and when I was younger he got angry easily and shouted a lot.

I've never felt comfortable inviting friends over if my parents were around, I've never felt comfortable being around other people in the presence of my parents. I felt like I couldn't be open or emotive in the presence of my dad. He's never been very open about anything and it's only since I've started going out more and hanging out with people that I realized how neurotic and emotionless I had been most of my life. I'm so sick of it, I feel like I have to cut contact with my dad so I can figure myself out and finally feel well-adjusted.

The only sexual advice I've ever had from him is the time I caught him watching porn when I was 10. At the time I thought sex was evil and wrong, so it upset me that he was watching sexual stuff. When I confronted him about it he vehemently denied watching porn ("you know I don't go on those kinds of sites") even though I was there and saw him do it. He then told me that there's nothing wrong with sex, it's sex without commitment that is wrong, and at the time I had no idea what that meant or how it related to porn, and it just confused me further.

I've never had a girlfriend or anything beyond a quick awkward make-out session in my life. I didn't even figure out how to go about getting a relationship until THIS FUCKING YEAR. I'm 19 years old and only now do I feel like I know how to let a girl know I'm interested in her, but rarely do I feel happy enough to have the energy and the clarity of mind to do so.

He's just such a pathetic piece of shit, I don't understand how anyone would want to live like him. A long time ago he told me the reason he's not more emotional or whatever is because his dad was hard on him and not very close with him either, but I'm in his situation now and I've managed to get out and adjust myself to society a considerable amount already, so I guess he's just a lame fuck.

I resent him and don't want to have anything to do with him and nobody seems to understand but me. I feel like his influence on me has fucked me up in the head and that nobody else thinks so.

Advice/support welcome, thanks.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
ThePunkAlien Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
ThePunkAlien's Avatar
 
Name: Josh
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: Hollywood USA

Posts: 777
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Resent my dad, can anyone else empathize? - October 10th 2009, 05:42 AM

Don't know what to offer advice wise, but I relate to that man. My old man fucked me up as well even though I never knew him. Only thing he ever gave was fear. From what I can gather he was a fuckin' criminal douche bag who ran out on my Mom when she found out she was pregnant - ditching both of us. Thus, making her give me away. My whole life I couldn't trust anyone, always thinking they'd throw me out or down and kick me around. Turns out that's Erickson's first stage in life: trust/mistrust and my bastard of a father made sure I failed that. It's been hindering possible friendships and getting close to a girl - I'm terrified of intimacy because it might lead to them leaving me too. So the impact that a horrible father can have on their son's life however involved in it they are - yeah, father's can suck.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
star_crossd Offline
Color Me Chaotic
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
star_crossd's Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: AZ

Posts: 770
Blog Entries: 12
Join Date: January 15th 2009

Re: Resent my dad, can anyone else empathize? - October 10th 2009, 05:54 AM

Hey, I'm sorry to hear about that, man. Sometimes I think its better to limit interaction with parents once we're on our own, it gives you the opportunity to become comfortable with yourself, etc. So I think it'd be a good idea for you to go on your own for a while, to get a clear head and whatnot. I guess the best thing to get from this is that he shows you how NOT to be. Reverse role-modeling. Anyway, I hope this helped a bit, if you do go out on your own, let us know


Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.


Music is life. Start living.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
dad, empathize, resent

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.