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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
troubled_rissa Offline
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Name: clarriz navera
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Unhappy Afraid - October 10th 2009, 07:32 AM

There are a lot of issues going on in my life right now
That sometimes I don't want to go home anymore.
My mum and dad is fighting about something my dad is doing (it's worse)
I know that there is no perfect and always happy family but I just
can't take it anymore. I'm really afraid that they will separate and leave me and my siblings.

I don't know what to do...

Last edited by troubled_rissa; October 10th 2009 at 07:46 AM.
   
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Re: Afraid - October 11th 2009, 03:38 PM

Hi Rissa,

Sometimes when parents get involved in an argument, they don't realize how much it is harming the rest of the family. They could be so caught up in their own lives that they don't notice how unhappy you are at home right now. Communication is really important in a family, and your parents deserve to know how their fighting is affecting their children.

As much as we'd like them to be sometimes, parents are not mind readers. If something is going wrong and making you feel afraid, then you need to voice that feeling to them. Talk to them about how you are feeling and see if there is a way to compromise or change the way they argue between one another.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, then writing a letter can be a really good idea. It can help organize your thoughts and really put down how you are feeling. Give the letter to your parents and then discuss it when you feel more comfortable.

If your parents do decide to split up, then that is their decision. There isn't anything you can do to change how they feel. Maybe you could suggest to them something like family counseling before it comes to the decision of divorce. Family counseling can really help to express feelings to other family members and have a mediator present to help find solutions.

If you want to talk sometime, feel free to message me
Take care.

Nat.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Afraid - October 11th 2009, 06:19 PM

Hi sweeie!
Parents fighting is always a drag, but no matter how great the marriage is or how great of parents are, people fight.
If something is bothering you, talk to them. They are your parents and will listen and probably make a strong effort to try and fix it!! But that dosent mean they wont still have their own problems. Even if your parents do seperate, they will NOT leave you or your siblings behind. They want what is best for you guys and themselves, so if them not being together is what is best thats whats going to happen. I know, its a hard concept to grasp but one day when you are married and have children you'll understand.
My PM box is open if you need to talk
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Re: Afraid - October 11th 2009, 10:41 PM

Hey Rissa

Having your parents fight in a way that makes you feel like this is horrible. It's not at all a good feeling being a bystander to something like that, especially if they do not realize the effect it is having on you.

I agree with both the posts above mine saying that you should try talking to your parents, but I know that that's not always an easy thing to do.
Confrontations are usually not too comfortable situations, but I think you need to talk to your parents about how you are feeling. If you don't want to talk to them both either try talking to the parent you are most comfortable with or, like Nat said, try writing a letter.

Your parents want what is best for both you and themselves, and by knowing how you feel they might take a different approach to their problems. Things might work out or they might not, but even if they shouldn't that does not mean that they will leave you and your siblings, it means that things would change.

If you ever want to talk you can always PM me or send me a mail.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
troubled_rissa Offline
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Re: Afraid - October 17th 2009, 07:49 AM

thanks for your help everyone, I really need someone who can understand what I'm feeling right now.
I just can't talk to them, like you all said its a hard thing to do, they're counting on me to hear their problems especially my mum, but what they don't understand is, as much as I wanted to help, as much as I wanted to give them advice, I can't, I don't know what to say to them, so I just listen even though inside I am wishing that I wasn't there.
   
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