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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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xxxskittlesxxx Offline
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Name: Sophie
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i need my space - January 24th 2009, 01:25 PM

mums controlling me!
i'm 16 and she makes me come in at rediculouse times on a saturday. today i had to be in the house for 4 when i wanted to go shopping.
and also shees making me revise for exams that are coming up in 9 blooming months!!!!!!!! i've just done my mock resits i finished them on thursday and i was nackerd with all the revision i put in and i thought that i could have a break before i gotta revise again but nooo mum wants me to revise for another 9 months! i'll be revising for the rest of my blooming life at this rate!
my friends are all aloud out till 10pm on a weekend and bowt 9 on a school night and they all have tuns of fun because they do everything together but i aint even aloud out on a school night or a sunday so i get about 5 hours on a saturday to see my mates and have some me time!
i tryed talking to her but she told me to stop being so selfish!
what can i do? my counsellor thinks shees being unreasonable aswell. i just want some more rope. i want her to realise that i'm 16 and i'm growing up , i can take care of myself , i'm sensible!

sorry if some people dissagree and think that shees being good but i dissagree. i hate the fact i cant have my own space without her knowing everything i do and knowing everywere i go and ruling my life tbh.



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Claire Offline
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Re: i need my space - January 24th 2009, 01:52 PM

I know you say you've spoken to her, but you need to do it again. Ask her why she doesn't trust you and explain (calmly!!!) that you are being left out from your friends. You need to talk like an adult not get angry, and show her how responsible you can be.

Ask her what you can do to prove it to her that you can be trusted. Then over time, she can tell you things to do that will gradually show how you can be trusted, so she will let you have a bit more freedom. Ask her if she will agree to this, but if she says yes and sets you targets to prove to her, for example be in a so-and-so time, make sure you do it!! Then say "see, I did what you asked, so maybe next time I can stay out a little longer please?"

I know its long and its unfair but the truth is she's your mum and she makes the rules. No amount of shouting and rebelling is going to work, you have to play by her rules. If she disagrees to this though, thats totally unfair. Its worth a try though.
   
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Re: i need my space - January 24th 2009, 08:33 PM

Hi Sophie,

I would agree that it sounds like your mom is being unreasonable. I don't see the purpose of revising nine months in advance, but that's just my opinion.

I think that you need to talk to your mom again. Make sure that it's at a time when both of you are calm so she can think about it properly. You could let her know your friends' curfews and times when they study and ask if you could have something similar. Or maybe ask if your mom could talk to some of your friends' parents about the times. It might help her to have another adult's opinion on it.

I hope you can get this sorted out with her.

Nat.


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