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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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LillyImp Offline
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Name: Lilly
Age: 25
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Unhappy Friends and Drugs - January 24th 2009, 03:19 PM

You know how your friends with someone for so long, that it's impossible to not be friends? I've known my friend kay since preschool, we're family. She's one of those party girls, the one of those girls that does some drugs, drinks, and is labled a slut. I'm none of these things, but being friends with her is getting hard.

Over the summer we hung out alot, she talked me into popping pills a twice. I loved it. Way too much. But we got caught, because of me. We had gotte high on my moms meds, and kay left for a party [to get laid], leaving me home alone, overdosing.

I ended up calling my mom, confessing to what was going on. I don't remember most of it. My mom told Kay's parents, and it hasn't been the same between me n Kay. [I'm pathetic goodygoody who can't keep her mouth closed]

It's hard to be friends with her. I've won't get drunk with her but she still trys to talk me into it. She's always using me as an excuse to sneak off to her boyfiends. Always talking about how 'fucked up' she got the other night.

I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I'm not like her. I don't want the lable that comes with being friends with her, or get sucked into the partying.

What do I do?
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samedifference Offline
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Re: Friends and Drugs - January 24th 2009, 03:37 PM

Hey Lilly!
I've been in exactly the same situation as you, word for word. Girls like your friend, and my friend at the time, aren't really friends. I understand when you say that as you've been friends for so long they just become taken for granted in a way. This can be good, but in this case it's not so good.

I would say, just try and get her out of your life. If she's introducing you to things like drugs and alcohol plus using you as an excuse to go off to boyfriends houses... then she's not really a friend and really not worth your time.
I don't think you are a pathetic goodygoody, just a normal smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. Use it to decide what your going to do with you friend. If you really can't see your life without her then really try talking to her and telling her exactly how you feel. Who knows, maybe you can even help her change. But honestly hun, do whatever you think is best but people like her and my ex best friend just really aren't worth it in my opinion. Good luck with whatever you do x

Remember those walls I built?
Well baby they're tumbling down...
and they didn't even put up a fight,
they didn't even make a sound...
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LillyImp Offline
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Re: Friends and Drugs - January 24th 2009, 09:41 PM

Thanks, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I guess I am spending more time with my other friends lately. Which makes me feel guilty, because she's been getting better, i think, atleast shes not doing pot. Ick, this is a bad place.
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Acerbated Offline
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Re: Friends and Drugs - January 26th 2009, 09:53 PM

While is may not seem like the nicest thing to do, I think you need to get her out of your life, or at least at a distance. I just made some friends that are heavily into drugs, alcohol, sex, other illegal things; it's had a bad influence on me. I'm just starting to get my life back in order from how heavily I screwed it over. Trust me, you don't want to go down that route. I wish I could go back to being a goodie goodie.

If you don't want to break the friendship, try only hanging out with her with other good influences around or in public where she can't persuade you to do those things. If that doesn't work, try only contacting her online or on the phone, or if you ever see her in person at school or something.

Don't let her drag you into drugs or drinking, it's not worth it. Take care

Every time I try to give up, a little voice called hope says "one more try"
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MakeItTre Offline
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Re: Friends and Drugs - January 31st 2009, 05:48 PM

Since kindergarten I have had 2 best friends who were also best friends with each other. In high school one of them and I got really into partying like your friend while the other usually stayed away from those kinds of plans. It brought up some tension but we never stopped chilling because homies be homies no matta wut.

Listen if you respect your friend won't judge her. Instead talk to her about understanding that you don't want her to pressure you into doing what she likes to do.
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