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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Did I do anything morally wrong, or am I just a good friend? - October 26th 2009, 02:36 PM

I must say I am slightly torn up about this situation.

My friend (at least I'd like to call him that) just got back from college. He wanted to hang out the other night and we did, but then he wanted to hit up a party where he knows some people. I knew alcohol was gonna be a factor, so I wanted to stay away. He just wanted a ride to and from the party and paid me for gas and then some to get him there. The thing is, he wasn't sure if the party was gonna die down in the early morning or if he was gonna stay the night. I ended up going to pick him up at like 3:00AM, when usually I'd be asleep at like 10PM.

I picked him up and he was so drunk he could barely stand. Since he is not of drinking age, he asked if he could stay at my place and sleep. I snuck him into my house and he slept on the floor of my room. I ended up having to make up some BS story for my parents to hear about him getting locked out of his house, and that's why he spent the night.

Did I do something wrong, or was I just being a good friend? Was I extrinsically motivated by the cash? I can't tell.
   
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Re: Did I do anything morally wrong, or am I just a good friend? - October 26th 2009, 09:54 PM

Hey Alex,

Unfortunately, I can't tell you your reasons for dropping your friend off and picking him up from the party. It could be cash, but more likely it sounds like you were just trying to help out your friend. He just got back from college after all, and you probably wanted to spend some time with him, even if it did end up being to drive him places.

I don't think what you did was wrong. Lying to your parents might have been, but I think that all in all it was safer for your friend to spend the night at your house where there were sober people around than at the party where he could have potentially gotten into trouble.

I think that you should explain to your friend that you aren't interested in doing this again. I don't think it's fair for him to visit you and then ask you to drop him off at another person's house. Maybe you could explain to him that you just want to hang out and you aren't into drinking and if he wants to get involved in alcohol then he shouldn't bring you into it.

If you don't want to drive him again, then give him a number for a cab and tell him to spend his money that way. But it is better that he gets a safe ride home then getting into a car with a driver who has been drinking as well.

I don't think you should feel bad right now, but try to think about what you might say in response to your friend if this comes up again.

Take care.
Nat.


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Re: Did I do anything morally wrong, or am I just a good friend? - October 27th 2009, 03:10 AM

I did let him know that I wouldn't be doing this again. He's back at college now.


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Re: Did I do anything morally wrong, or am I just a good friend? - October 29th 2009, 08:28 PM

Wow, this thread is slower than molasses.


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

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Re: Did I do anything morally wrong, or am I just a good friend? - October 29th 2009, 08:38 PM

No, you did not do anything wrong! I admire what you did because I think I know why you did it. You did it because you care about him. If you didn't, you would leave him on the street of something... What your friend did was wrong. If he wanted to hang out with you why the hell did he ask you to drive him places? In my opinion, that is just using a friend! You should talk to him and tell him that this was not what you thought he ment by "hanging out"

Good luck)))

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Re: Did I do anything morally wrong, or am I just a good friend? - October 30th 2009, 12:47 AM

He's back at college already. =/


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

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