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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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sblack Offline
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She Is Driving Me Mad! - October 30th 2009, 09:20 PM

My mother that is. I feel as if she doesn't trust me, and she has no reason to feel like that whatsoever.

I don't go to parties, I don't drink, or do drugs. Never have, never will. I've never even smoked a ciggarette or taken a drag.. nothing.

My boyfriend stayed with me over the summer - she actually suggested that he did, but since the summer, I don't know what happened but it's just all gone hell. At this point I see him about once or twice a week. She refuses to let me spend the night at his house for whatever reason, she always makes up excuses. She says his house is 'questionable' .. because she thinks his sister smokes weed, I don't really know how that makes it different than our house because my step father gets high everyday of his life. I've already told her I'm a virgin and I'm not sexually active, I'm on the pill at any rate. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year so it's obviously not just a 'fling' or short relationship' .. she has got to be kidding me that she thinks I'm going to have sex with him just because I'm spending the night at his house. We would have a lot more privacy during the day because his mom works until 10 at night, so if we wanted to, we would.

I'm 17, I believe I'm old enough to make m decisions. It hurts my feelings to think she really doesn't trust me, and I've never done anything wrong, but at the same time I feel like I can't do anything right in her eyes.


"Life is simple ; it's just not easy." - Author unknown

09.28.08
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Re: She Is Driving Me Mad! - October 30th 2009, 11:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sblack View Post
She Is Driving Me Mad!
Well, it's natural to be mad. Just make sure you control that emotion; if you don't you may physically unleash it one day and be like one of those guys in jail.


Quote:
Originally Posted by sblack View Post
I don't go to parties, I don't drink, or do drugs. Never have, never will. I've never even smoked a ciggarette or taken a drag.. nothing.

My boyfriend stayed with me over the summer - she actually suggested that he did... She refuses to let me spend the night at his house for whatever reason, she always makes up excuses. She says his house is 'questionable' .. because she thinks his sister smokes weed, I don't really know how that makes it different than our house because my step father gets high everyday of his life. I've already told her I'm a virgin and I'm not sexually active, I'm on the pill at any rate... she thinks I'm going to have sex with him just because I'm spending the night at his house.
Well, at least you understand your mom's point of view. That is, she doesn't like you to spend the night at your boyfriend's place because:
  1. She is afraid you will sleep with him. You said you are on the pill even though you are not active. Your mom may say that this is unnecessary and a waste of money or whatever. Maybe not using the pills would be a better thing to gain your mom's trust. It's not as if your boyfriend will spring on you without warning.
  2. She thinks his sister smokes weed. Maybe she doesn't want to see this sister as a part of your family. In other words, depite your stepdad getting high, she doesn't want you near those things to protect you. Maybe she knows from experience that being near a druggie is a bad thing. You could argue otherwise, but your mom cares at the very least.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sblack View Post
I'm 17, I believe I'm old enough to make m decisions. It hurts my feelings to think she really doesn't trust me, and I've never done anything wrong, but at the same time I feel like I can't do anything right in her eyes.
In the end, just remember your mom cares. At least you have a mom to yell at you out of love. Some guys don't and when the word mom get mentioned (ex: "My mom yelled at me for not making my bed"), they get all depressed since they never had such love. I think she wishes the best for you - it's just the two of you are not on the same level. Sit down and talk it out I guess.

I wish you the best of luck.
   
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Re: She Is Driving Me Mad! - November 1st 2009, 01:21 AM

your mom is just trying to protect you,
she loves you and she just doesnt know how to help.
she just wants you to be safe,
even if shes going on about it wrong,
love her anyways ,
i know it's hard to because shes your mom,
but bond with her,
show her that your not one of those party girls,
show her that you love her no matter what,
dont have a negative additude against her wishes,
surpise her with dinner made or something,
show her that your an adult and you can make your own choices,
like lacrotix said just talk to her, and tell her that your willing to earn that trust back,.
it might take along time, and you might slip alot like fighting and stuff but just tell her your able to make the relationship work, you need to trust her before she trusts you,

anyways hope i helped,
.... nevergiveuphope.
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