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Stained Dreamer Offline
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my dad wants to argue with my mom (and the rest of us) about the stupidest stuff - November 3rd 2009, 05:27 PM

so ever since we moved, my dad's been a jerk. well, he's always been a jerk. he yelled at me when i was 5 and it was from that day on that i said i would never love him again. it's been 10 years.

he and mom have always argued, but it's never been that bad...bad enough that when i was 7 i thought they were getting divorced. my mom said that they'd never get divorced.

we moved 3 years ago because of his job (we left the state completely and went 500 miles away). that was the worst experience ever. one day when the movers were there, or just before the movers got there (on december 26! the loser moved us right after christmas!) he started yelling at my brother about the toilet not being perfectly clean or something. it was really stupid like that, but he yelled at my brother (who was 7 at the time) so much that later he threw up. that's called CHILD ABUSE!!!!!!!!!! later that day he started yelling at me because my computer wasn't packed up, but all the stories i wrote were on that computer and i didn't want to pack it up just yet. so i started yelling back at him and cussing him out (which i NEVER do) and telling him how terrible he is and how i don't give a damn what he thinks. i later cried and kept apologizing to mom. "i'm sorry mom! i shouldn't have cussed!" (my mom doesn't like that at all) but she said that it was fine and that he deserved that.

he yelled at me 2 years ago when i told him i was sick of him treating me like a little kid and saying "i love watching you grow up"- which was terrible because i was sooooooooooooooooooo miserable. it was like he was saying "i love watching you suffer". and when mom tries to stop him from arguing with us (or with her) he won't listen and won't shut up.

so this past weekend, he took me to the football game friday night. he played football in high school, so i had to stand with him by the fence and listen to him rant about all the plays they were doing. i couldn't care less! i wanted to go in the first place to hang out with my friends, but they all pretty much abandoned me and were hanging out with other people, so i was stuck listening to him. so saturday he asked me if i had fun at the game and i said no. i told him that you're not supposed to go to a football game and watch the game. i told him that i was bored because i actually had to watch the game. i told him that NO ONE pays attention to the game. Then randomly, he started getting in an arguement with my mom saturday night and, for some reason, brought up the football game. mom said that she wouldn't argue with him but he kept yelling about random crap. i was scared to see him because i knew he'd start yelling at me.

isn't this child abuse????? if so, what do i do????? he makes all of the money in the family, so we can't just send him to jail or anything! i'm honestly afraid of him, and i never want him to come home on the weekends!!!!!!


I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Want to hold on, and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me, but I'm still here
   
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Re: my dad wants to argue with my mom (and the rest of us) about the stupidest stuff - November 4th 2009, 07:45 PM

hey! while i do understand what you feel, i have to tell you that i don't think your dad wants to hurt you, neither physically nor mentally, i believe he does love you. this kind of abuse is really common. my mom used to do that with me till i moved out. she brought home all the tension and pain she gained at work throughout the day, and gave it all out by shouting at the wrong person, me, because she felt down because of her boss. she never told me this but i realised this could be the explanation for her behaviour. i think your dad probably feels the same. i don't know how much he works and how is your financial background, but being the only person working in the family can be pretty tough, especially if you don't let out the steam sometimes. you have so much responsibilities, your whole family relies on you and the money you make, without you your family and loved ones couldn't even get food or wouldn't have a house to live in. i don't think that yelling at you is a good decision for letting out the pressure he is under, it makes you and your family feel miserable, and the same for him, i'm sure. i think the best would be if you could all sit down and talk about your problems and concerns. be absolutely honest with each other, but make sure that you don't start yelling at each other. tell him how horrible what he does makes you feel, but do it without being aggressive. show and tell him how terrified you are, and i'm sure that you can all work this out. good luck
   
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Stained Dreamer Offline
I will not be treated that way
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Re: my dad wants to argue with my mom (and the rest of us) about the stupidest stuff - November 7th 2009, 01:36 PM

we tried doing that once...we tired having a "family meeting" after he was yelling at my mom at a baseball game in front of everyone...when we tried to start talking, he started yelling...it just ended horribly with me running to my room crying and all of us being more miserable than ever.

i appreciate the idea though. we did try that because we thought it would help [granted, we tried it before you gave the advice, so obviously great minds think alike. ]


I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Want to hold on, and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me, but I'm still here
   
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