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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
3ofHearts Offline
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Help Please (Re-post since no one said anything last time.) - November 7th 2009, 07:02 AM

So here's the layout:

Father: Raised me with my sister, a step-brother and step mother. Things went horribly wrong with drugs, financial issues and I fell into suicidal depression age 7-8. He was slightly abusive. (Oh yeah, my step mother cheated and used worse then he did, so her son got taken away but no one thought to even look at us.)

Talking to him is one sided, he never listen no matter how many people ask him to.

Mother: Has mental and physical disorders. When I was a really little kid she had no control of her emotions. (Very literally, she didn't see anyone about his for a long time.) She was involved in a bit of prostitution. After we left my dad for a summer, she continued using. I found her in bed with another man three weeks after leaving my dad, age five. I am currently living with her.

To sum her up, she's in an institution right now and takes her meds most of the time. She's unemployed. Her views are pretty 1960's Christian, aka, we don't really have much in common.

Sister: Used to be my role model, then turned anarchist punk. She's very ignorant about the world around her and thinks in a very black and white "good and evil" sense. We can't agree on anything. She thinks I'm a selfish bitch.

Other siblings (Half-siblings): They're cool, but they kind of avoid me like the plague.

The combination of all of this, is driving me insane...I pretty much take care of myself and my mother. It's like living with a stranger, who really doesn't care who you are. They only talk to you when it's about your sister. (Or when they're yelling at you.)

I don't get enough sleep, eat regular, and am always horribly stressed out. I'm cold, anti-social and can't tolerate most people. People are ignorant and judgmental, and I really would rather just spend my days with books. It seems like even the people who I should be able to trust back stab me or turn away in disgust once they get a glimpse of what my family is like. I AM DIFFERENT FROM THEM.

Also, as an additional note: Every single therapist I've ever had has been a back stabbing liar. They break my trust or/and don't help me at all. Sometimes they just make me worse.

Anyways, I could go on for hours more but I think I will stop here. I just need some advice, what the hell am I supposed to do?


“There is no truth. There is only perception.” - Gustave Flaubert

“Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.”

“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then”
-Lewis Carol

"Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."-Zhuangzi



   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
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Re: Help Please (Re-post since no one said anything last time.) - November 7th 2009, 04:34 PM

Hi there,

I apologize that you have not received a reply to your post sooner. It was not fair to keep you waiting. If you find that you need a more urgent response to a problem that you post, then trying LiveHelp or HelpLINK might be a good idea. I hope that I can be of some help to you now.

If you are still legally a child, then I suggest you contact child services immediately. You are obviously still in a negative environment with your mother right now, and they will probably be able to place you with someone else until you are an adult. It is not your job to take care of your mother and you deserve to have a less stressful place to live.

If you don't feel like contacting child services directly, then talking to a guidance counselor at school might be a good idea. Be honest with them and tell them exactly what your situation is like at home and that you would like to get in contact with someone that you help you get placed somewhere else. The only thing about speaking through the counselor is that they might need to contact your mother first in order to do this, which may not be what you want.

If you do want to stay at home, then I suggest giving counseling another chance. I understand that you feel you have been back stabbed by therapists, but it is their job to help you. They may have tried helping in a way that did not seem to help in your opinion. It would be a good idea to talk over your options with them and get them to tell you exactly what the next steps you can take are. That way you will be aware of every scenario and nothing they do will be a surprise.

Try to keep people in your life that you can trust. I understand that they might distance themselves because of your family situation, but do your best to explain that you are not like your family and you are just looking for a friend. If the person is worth being friends with then they will give you a chance.

I hope you are able to use some of this advice, and I apologize again that you did not get a reply earlier.
Take care.

Nat.


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The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
3ofHearts Offline
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Re: Help Please (Re-post since no one said anything last time.) - November 9th 2009, 05:48 AM

Thanks for the advice Nat, might do something about seeing a school counsellor soon. I jsut really don't want to end up in a foster home. I know they all aren't bad places, but I've never know a kid who's gone through that system and ended up alright. I've know one kid who's ended it for himself, and another who's on the streets.


“There is no truth. There is only perception.” - Gustave Flaubert

“Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.”

“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then”
-Lewis Carol

"Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."-Zhuangzi



   
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: Help Please (Re-post since no one said anything last time.) - November 11th 2009, 04:32 PM

Hey 3ofHearts, I hope things have gotten somewhat better as you read this post. First off, when you say you are anti-social, do you mean you just like spending time by yourself ? If you prefer to spend time for yourself it means your an introvert( maybe you already knew this ). And this is very important in your situation. The thing here is that you will have to try and help out as much as you can. I agree with Nat, contact someone from social services( or which Nat mentioned ). Secondly, you need something to help you release steam. Find something you like to do and concentrate on that, stop being cold because it will not get you anywhere, you might be cold to someone who can help you and you would have lost a potential friend. Get enough sleep, eat well and don't judge other people, even if they do it to you, or you will be just like them.

In summary, find something you like, something good and nice and concentrate on it, be good to people not cold and don't judge them either. This will help you.
   
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3ofHearts Offline
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Re: Help Please (Re-post since no one said anything last time.) - November 11th 2009, 09:53 PM

I find that I concentrate on other things too often. I'm detached from society because of my concentration on manga. Yeah, I'm really introverted.

I generally dislike a good forty percent of the people I meet. I'm really not going to change my outlook on people and life with the flick of a switch. If people are cruel or mean to me, I'm not going to bend over and take it. I'm not going to verbally or physically attack them either, that kind of thing is pointless. I don't hate people either, I just dislike.

Too many people are boring, they just don't/don't want to understand things. (I don't mean that they don't understand me. I could care less about that.) I'm a thinker, I question things. I don't expect the world to agree with what I think or say, or for the world to know; I don't push these kinds of things on to people. I just really don't like boring people, or boring conversation.

Eh, I probably come off as a judgmental bitch.

I've been trying to tackle the sleep/eating thing since grade four. Nutritionist have never really helped me.


“There is no truth. There is only perception.” - Gustave Flaubert

“Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.”

“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then”
-Lewis Carol

"Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."-Zhuangzi



   
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