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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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What can I say to him? - November 14th 2009, 04:22 PM

I meet this guy through a friend. He's a great friend, nice guy and everything but he is starting to annoy me and others have said that he is annoying as well and I need to say something soon because it's getting too much now.

Basically, he constantly follows me around. If we're out together, we are most likely at the pub with other friends and if I go outside with someone or I go outside to talk to them, he follows. If I go to the bar, he follows. I wouldn't mind it but sometimes I just want to get away from him for a moment and I have to say things like "I need to be alone for a bit" and go stand outside and then 10 minutes later he is there again. Also, he has told me a few times not to ditch him for my friends because he doesn't like them and I don't see this as fair, it's understandable that if you don't like someone you won't talk to them but these are my friends and I feel like I can't go and talk to them because I'll be ditching him. Recently, I meet a friend at the pub and he just appeared, my friend was really drunk so I offered to walk her home and he went a bit funny with me because of it, which made me feel bad when I shouldn't when he just appeared and I was trying to be there for my friend.

As well as that, I've recently been having a few minor problems with a girl I like, I've told him some of what has happened and he keeps telling me to just forget it and stuff. Now, I understand that is his advice and he is trying to look out for me but it's getting to the point of dragging me away from her when she's holding my hand and hitting me to stop me from kissing her and walking over and asking what we're talking about when we're having private conversations. He even told me last night that if she comes over, he'll drag me away and I don't want that. I feel as if he's treating me like a kid and telling me what I can and can't do, another example of this is when I was drinking last night, he told me I should stop because I was drunk and whenever I got up or was walking, he'd keep putting his arm around me and just touching me even though I was fine and didn't need him grabbing me every second to steady me and the one thing I can't stand is being touched and it's getting more and more.

What can I say to him to just generally get him to back off a bit? I know it sounds really harsh but there is only so much I can take and I'm getting to breaking point and I feel that when I see him tonight, if it happens again I'll snap and say something I'll regret. It's not just me either, a few of my friends have been there and have agreed with me. I just need some idea of what I could say to make him just stop or just do it less.
   
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Re: What can I say to him? - November 14th 2009, 07:21 PM

Just tell him he's crowding you. I can see that he was trying to take care of you but just tell him that you need you're space. Tell him calmly and take care too because he might have gotten too attached to you. So just tell him you need your space.
   
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Re: What can I say to him? - November 14th 2009, 07:52 PM

I personally know a person like this and ussally simply telling them to go away wont work (Sorry) your best bet is to avoid him cause in the end he wont understand anyway as sad as that is.


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Re: What can I say to him? - November 16th 2009, 01:38 PM

It seems as though this guy likes you. And because you're showing no interest towards him, he's becoming clingy. I would try talking to him on his own, and tell him that what he's doing is making you uncomfortable and you'd like him to stop, and if he doesn't listen to you, I would avoid him. Don't invite him out with you, and if he's there already just ignore him the best you can.

Good luck.



   
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