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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Help... - November 17th 2009, 10:56 PM

There are this girls in my youth group and they hardly pay any attention to me. Let's call them "Amy" and "Molly". They are popular at the school they go to and they always have a swarm of friends around them that they bring to the youth group meetings. Anyway, they are my "friends" supposedly.

They hardly ever say hi and I think 'Amy' doesn't like me. The reason I don't think she likes me is because I don't follow her around and have to bask in her "glory". If I sit by her, she always asks me to move so one of her friends that bask in her glory can sit there. Being the person I am, I do.

What are wrong with these girls that they don't like me? I feel like I'm invisible around them. Do they think they're better than me?
   
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Re: Help... - November 17th 2009, 11:29 PM

You need some new friends! There's usually two options in these sorts of situations--find someone who seems to 'bask in their glory' and actually shares your feelings, or just abandon the group altogether. It may seem like you're cool if you hang out with them, but other people might see you as a 'wannabe' or a follower instead of the cool person you want them to see you as.
   
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Talking Re: Help... - November 17th 2009, 11:38 PM

Hi Christy
I have girls like that at my school too. It is quite uncomfortable, especialy for someone (*ahem* ...me) with anxiety issues!! LOL

It has nothing to do with you. They actually are the ones that have the lack of selfconfidence. They have to have "their" group around to make them feel good and putting others down make them feel good too. I bet alone they are just as scared as anyone else. Don't let them get to you. They are immature.

And I agree with Cheyenne, you deserve better freinds.




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Re: Help... - November 18th 2009, 12:57 AM

Hey Christy,

You definitely need to find new friends, I went through the same thing, I was trying to fit into the popular crowd, and they always hated me..

So finally I decided to hang out with different friends, and gained more friends then they did.

They may think that they are better then you, but in all reality, your better then them, because your not treating them like crap.

Good luck!
Brittany



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Re: Help... - November 18th 2009, 09:40 PM

Hi Christy,

It's impossible to say what is wrong with those girls at your youth group, but I think it's a bad case of 'big-headedness'. Basically they are treated like they are the best at school and they think that they deserve that treatment wherever they go.

Are there other people you can hang out with at your youth group? You deserve to have people to talk to who will listen and spend time with you. You should be able to have someone to sit next to who doesn't make you move over for someone else. That is not fair and you deserve better in your friendships.

You don't need to block out those other girls completely. If they want to talk or hang out, then being the better person and doing it is probably a good idea. Maybe they will learn by example.

In the meantime, try introducing yourself to some other people.
Take care.

Nat.


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Re: Help... - November 19th 2009, 09:27 PM

There isn't anyone else (girl wise) that comes to our youth group that isn't in the clique. My youth group is split into two parts. Alpha: 7th to 9th grade and Omega 10th to 12th grade. I'm in the Alpha b/c I'm in 9th grade. The reason I can't really talk to the guys is b/c I'm shy and some of the guys are really hot (I'm really, really shy around guys)! Maybe I could tell our youth minister to maybe do a segment about including everyone in what we do, but I doubt that would help...

I can't really bring friends because I've only lived in this town a little over a year and I'm home schooled.


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Re: Help... - November 19th 2009, 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fantasy View Post
The reason I can't really talk to the guys is b/c I'm shy and some of the guys are really hot (I'm really, really shy around guys)! Maybe I could tell our youth minister to maybe do a segment about including everyone in what we do, but I doubt that would help...

I can't really bring friends because I've only lived in this town a little over a year and I'm home schooled.
Even if you're shy around guys, I would really make an effort to talk to them. I'm just like you, I'm not so good with girls. But I'm really good with talking to guys for some reason, I guess it's because I can relate to them because I'm not too girly.

I bet the guys think the same thing about those girls, too. They're probably annoyed by them. Since you're not in that clique, you stand out to them, and I would take advantage of your position!.

And don't worry about the town thing. I don't think it matters how long you've lived somewhere. I've lived in my town for 10 years, and I don't invite anyone over either. Everyone I know is on the other side of town. How long have you been home schooled?
   
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Re: Help... - November 22nd 2009, 03:58 AM

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Originally Posted by Hey Nikki! View Post
Even if you're shy around guys, I would really make an effort to talk to them. I'm just like you, I'm not so good with girls. But I'm really good with talking to guys for some reason, I guess it's because I can relate to them because I'm not too girly.

I bet the guys think the same thing about those girls, too. They're probably annoyed by them. Since you're not in that clique, you stand out to them, and I would take advantage of your position!.

And don't worry about the town thing. I don't think it matters how long you've lived somewhere. I've lived in my town for 10 years, and I don't invite anyone over either. Everyone I know is on the other side of town. How long have you been home schooled?
I've been home schooled all my life. We tried public school this year and it didn't work out. It literally felt like there was something there that wanted me dead. It was evil. *shivers*
The guys all went to the same school as those girls. Now most the guys are in 9th grade like me, so they go to the highschool.


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Re: Help... - November 22nd 2009, 04:43 PM

Well, I would totally stay away from those girls and guys. They care too much about being popular (like 90% of teens do, I don't, haha) so just drop them and leave the group. Trust me, I've been to places where people don't act like complete snobs, and you just have to look. I go to a community pool over the summer, and everyone there is really nice and down-to-earth. If people aren't down-to-earth, then screw 'em. Don't even bother being polite; you don't need those people in your life.

(But it always seems like the preppy girls hang around the religious youth places, don't they? That's because they need all the help they can get! They go to private school, right?)
   
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Re: Help... - November 24th 2009, 02:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey Nikki! View Post
Well, I would totally stay away from those girls and guys. They care too much about being popular (like 90% of teens do, I don't, haha) so just drop them and leave the group. Trust me, I've been to places where people don't act like complete snobs, and you just have to look. I go to a community pool over the summer, and everyone there is really nice and down-to-earth. If people aren't down-to-earth, then screw 'em. Don't even bother being polite; you don't need those people in your life.

(But it always seems like the preppy girls hang around the religious youth places, don't they? That's because they need all the help they can get! They go to private school, right?)
No, they all go to the only middle school in our town. (The town is pretty small. Only about 20,000 people in all) Most go to the public school. There is a small private school, but no one at my church goes to it. Some of the younger guys are nicer though. They don't hang out with the girls as much (if at all).

I can't just leave the Youth Group though, I love it!


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Re: Help... - November 24th 2009, 09:13 PM

Wow, so they're not even in high school yet? ...They're gonna be in for a nasty surprise when they get there.

Make friends with the younger guys, I'm glad that you found them. All my guy friends were a year or two younger than me, but we got along fine. Start being friends with guys when they're young. Later, they might change, so it's best to socialize with them now.
   
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