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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Hey Nikki! Offline
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Haven't had a best friend since I was 13... - November 18th 2009, 12:08 AM

It's been three years since I had a best friend. Actually, all the way through elementary and middle school, I had a bunch of friends. I wasn't 'popular,' and I was picked on sometimes, but our school was REALLY small so everyone understood each other. I had people that would care for me when I cried, or anytime I didn't believe in myself.

In 8th grade, my old school closed and I had to go to a new middle school for just 1 year. New uniforms, new schedule, new people...I was so nervous. But it was one of the best years of my life. I had a birthday party one month after the 8th grade started, and it was the biggest (and last) party I ever had. I made friends quickly and easily.

I really do miss those guys. But we have nothing in common anymore. Everyone goes to different schools, and they live far away (our school was private, so it took kids from all over), and it would just be 'awkward.'

Then I had a fake friend in 10th grade. She would pose as my best friend, and everyone believed her to be, but she put me down all the time in front of other people. Thankfully, I got rid of her. (Sometimes it's better to have no friends, rather than harmful ones.)

All my friends have ever been guys. I just don't do good with girls...I don't know what's wrong with me...guys like me, and they're always there, but there's some thing that guys can't do for me. I always have to cope with stuff on my own. I'm so tired of being alone...I don't understand girls at all. And yet I was friends with them just 3 years ago. Go figure.
   
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Re: Haven't had a best friend since I was 13... - November 19th 2009, 11:00 PM

why dont yoo do well with girls? ....i dont really belive that, yoo think yoo can only hav guy friends? humor me, jaimelu@aol.com btw im jamie-17
   
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Re: Haven't had a best friend since I was 13... - November 21st 2009, 06:09 PM

Hi.
I understand how hard it is sometimes to not have much friends, or a very good friend and someone that have something in common with, im also in that situation now and actually reading your post reminded me a little bit of what happen to me.
Have in mind that not all girls are the same, just not like all guys are the same, you will get to meet all kinds of personality's trough your life, each year, and you will start to get closer to the ones that you have more in common with. Try to see this as a phase in your life and that will get through.
I know it's hard and you feel alone, but it will pass sooner or latter.
   
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Re: Haven't had a best friend since I was 13... - November 21st 2009, 09:21 PM

Thanks. I just hope that this is a phase, because I don't want to go through my whole life like this. I was never like this before, though, so I think it's just something I'm going through. Heck, last year was MUCH worse. I'm thankful beyond belief that I'm past that year.

It's a shame, because I was doing fine over the summer. My mom was so proud of me because I was talking to complete strangers and getting along with them. I felt like I was...wanted. Now that feeling's gone because I won't see those people until next summer. And I'm back in school with the people I can't stand and have nothing in common with. Oh well, maybe that's just them. Maybe it's not my fault...

I've decided that I'm going to work on myself before I go out and make friends, I'm feeling mentally unstable these days. I've ignored my problems for too long and instead of running from them, I should confront them...

BTW, how's college going so far?
   
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Re: Haven't had a best friend since I was 13... - November 22nd 2009, 01:20 AM

College is going better,thanks I've adapted more to the class and classes and i've made some new friends, and although i still feel alone because we talk more on college campus and not much outside because we live a bit far away and all, but it helps to meet new people and new environment and people that you just start to get along from the beginning.
Like i said, i think it's just a period of time, when you change school for example or an extra occupation, with new people and different environment you probably start meet more people that "click" ( i didn't know what other word to use) more with you, and with different personalities that you start to get to know and find that have more in common with you.
Also, try to get to see this in a positive way, it gives you more knowledge to find out how people are and what people you get along better, it gives you some time to think about yourself and focus and mostly, it helps you get stronger, thats a key positive side on almost all the bad things, they help us get stronger.
I hope you start to feel better mentally and get by this "phase" of life very soon
   
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Re: Haven't had a best friend since I was 13... - November 22nd 2009, 04:08 PM

Thanks again for the reply!

I'm so glad you got through to people in college! Maybe once Winter vacation comes around you'll be able to talk to those people off campus. Either way, you're doing better than you did before college started. Remember when you felt sad about it? I guess you're looking back at that and wondering why you ever felt like that.

I also noticed I'm social with complete strangers, but uncomfortable around people I already know- especially the ones who bullied me before. Yeah, I know they did the worst of things two years ago, but I still can't trust them. Their attitudes about me haven't changed, either, so I've given up on them entirely. They're not the people I want in my life, and it took me 2 years to figure that out. I met nicer people over the summer.

I'm kind of glad I went through this. If I hadn't, I would've never seen how dangerous the world can be. And then I would've never been motivated to change it.
   
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Re: Haven't had a best friend since I was 13... - November 22nd 2009, 09:15 PM

Exactly, i think that sometimes we have to meet bad people in order to recognize and value the good ones.
And ignore those that bullied you, they don't deserve your attention and time.
It's funny, sometimes that happens to me, sometimes i get more uncomfortable with people i already know than talking to someone i don't know or im talking for the first time, it's strange
Also, i want to thank for you for all the reply you made and support in my other thread ( and in this one that is yours, so double thanks), i didn't get to thank you because my thread end up closing with time because i wasn't able to visit here for a while.
I know you will get through this and get stronger and knowing people better and what people you like to have as your friends.
   
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Re: Haven't had a best friend since I was 13... - November 24th 2009, 08:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lonely.boy View Post
It's funny, sometimes that happens to me, sometimes i get more uncomfortable with people i already know than talking to someone i don't know or im talking for the first time, it's strange
I think it's because of perceived notions people have about me. When I see a stranger, I think, "Hey, they haven't heard anything about me, so I can make a good first impression, and they'll think I'm nice."

But if it's a person I already know, I feel powerless to change their opinion on me. It sucks. My school is incredulously small, so when a rumor gets spread, everyone hears it. And this one girl told a rumor about me and I had people coming up to me all year asking if it was true. Seriously, if they believed that, they're not worth talking to.

Also, you're welcome for the advice! If you want to, we could continue this in PM, because we're basically chatting anyway.
   
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