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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Allyboo Offline
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Unhappy Friend Problems - November 20th 2009, 01:22 AM

Okay, so I have this 'friend'. Her name is Amanda. Most of the time she acts nice and all, but . . . she's too clingy and controlling. Today I hung out at break with another friend, and when I got back Amanda is all like "Where were you? I looked behind me and you weren't there." What, am I supposed to follow you around all the time? Seriously. Then another time she says "God, why do you ALWAYS wear black!?" . . . I think I can wear what I want, thank you very much. And yet another time she says "Why are you always so NEGATIVE!" I'm sorry that that is how I am and the fact that my life sucks doesn't make that any easier. Also, recently, it was "God, if you are negative at my party I will MAKE YOU LEAVE. And I'm NOT even kidding."

See, I try and make new friends but there aren't any school activities that I'm interested in and I just don't really like people. I don't want to hang around somebody who critisizes me, but I'm just not good at making friends. What do I do?
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Stormy Rainbow Offline
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Re: Friend Problems - November 20th 2009, 01:33 AM

I know what you mean but not being good at making friends. The only friends I tend to make are the ones that are off and on again friends or the ones who like to be incontroll of every god damn thing you do...and I let them control me because I'm weak.

Anyways I think you should really sit down and talk to her and tell her how you are feel about the way she acts and treats you and see what she does and if it doesn't get better I'm sorry but I would try and cut her loose.

If you ever need to talk I'm always here PM me anytime:]

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Strider Offline
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Re: Friend Problems - November 20th 2009, 09:48 PM

Hi Alex,

It's really important to have friends that you enjoy hanging out with and who respect you as well. You are allowed to wear what you like and what you are comfortable in, and should be allowed to hang out with other people without being judged negatively.

I can understand where Amanda is coming from when she was looking for you at lunch. I don't think that she meant that you were supposed to follow her, but not being there I can't say for sure. I think she just thought you were there and then when you seemed to disappear she was worried about where you went. Maybe next time just let her know you have other plans at lunch and wont be around. You don't need to change your plans for her, but giving her a heads up might be a good idea so that she knows she can also hang out with other people.

I think you really need to talk to Amanda about what she said about making you leave her party. That was an inappropriate thing for her to say and it is not fair at all for her to blame things on you when things are not going well in your life right now. Maybe you could tell her that you've been having some trouble and that it's hard for you not to express it right now. Let her know that you would really like her to understand and support her instead of putting down your attitude.

Maybe you could start spending more time with that other friend you hung out with on break? They might be able to introduce you to new people as well. Sometimes making new friends is easier when you start hanging out with a new group.

You could also give an activity at school a try. I know you aren't really interested in them right now, but giving one a chance may change your mind. Sometimes activities are more fun then they seem at first and it might change your outlook to give something you wouldn't have normally tried a chance.

Take care.

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