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Ilikebirds Offline
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I'm just clueless about what to do now - November 21st 2009, 04:11 PM

Alright, first of all, hello everyone... Prepare for this big *** rant, you can skip through it, or don't read it, I know I wrote alot, but I just let out alot of things I feel are wrong. Would be glad if you help me...

Well, I know people have worse problems than mine, and that you'll think I'm a stupid teen looking for help over a problem many people would solve easily, but I wish I could get some advice...

The thing is that I only have 3 friends right now, and two of them are socializing with other people and I'm only left with one of them... These guys want to be popular, have girlfriends, and I don't blame them, our circle of friends is very depressing anyway.

So I don't even talk to them much anymore, and I see they're way happier than they were when we were friends...
Anyway, I'm a very introverted person, but I like having friends, I'm not into the idea of being popular, I'm not like that, but I'd like to be more loved by people and be invited into parties and stuff. But the thing I'd love the most is having a girlfriend, but I guess you can't if you're a few friends person.

When the teacher requires us to make teams, nobody invites me, and since my friends don't wanna team up with me anymore, I only have the other friends to make a team of two. We usually end up feeling awkward about only being two on a team, or the teacher puts us on another random team. It sucks and it makes me feel really bad.

Things didn't use to be that bad; my friends and I used to be closer and I had more friends. Sadly about 4 or 5 of my friends moved to another school/place last year and the ones that were left this year suddendly decided they wanted to be popular and have other friends.

I have a pretty low self-steem for all the things that have happened to me throughout at least 4 years, because before I used to have a high self-steem. I guess that's a reason of why I'm pretty anti-social. I do recognize a few good things about me, like I'm not that bad looking, I'm good at music and I am smart.
But I hate everything else about me, I'm lazy, big procastinator, shy, I laugh stupid, people don't care about me, basically I suck 90%.

Because of all of this, my grades aren't as good as they used to be before (I used to get straight As on pretty much everything) I dont feel like doing anything, i dont like to go to school, I feel I wouldn't be able to have a relationship.

I don't want to lose my teens. I'm gonna soon be 15 and times goes by fastly. I want to enjoy going to social events, have my first kiss, I want people to know when my birthday is. I feel like I'm wasting this period of my life.

What can I do? I don't want to be this anti-social, but at the same time I don't feel like making new friends. I want to move out of this place and start over again, but I have 3 years left to live in here, ugh... What, go to the gym, get in a band, get a girlfriend? I already play in the basketball team and it's not done much for me. I had a "girlfriend" a year ago when things were better but I didn't know what to do and screwed being shy and all. This year I had a girl like me but I screwed up once again.

Do I need more confidence? What the hell can I do? I don't want to be a loner... I need to change alot of aspects about myself and lose my fears, I know that, but I can't. I'm afraid of change and having to talk to people. They already see me as a loser, could I possibly change their minds after 3 years of being shy and awkward?

I beg you to help me. Any advice from anyone whos had this problem before?

Thanks
   
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: I'm just clueless about what to do now - November 21st 2009, 05:44 PM

Advice you shall get.
Its good you know that you're introverted. Well what you said about being more loved is, if i'm not wrong, a reputation you would like to have. Just be yourself. You can't go search for friends, because you're an introvert. So naturally only few close people will you actually be your friends others will simply be acquantance's(probably wrong spelling). So just be yourself and let friendships blossom naturally. If you're in a group with guys you don't know try and make friends. It may not be easy because of what they may think of you, but if all they do is put you down, leave them be. You will find more friends over time.

On having a girlfriend, just don't spoil the chances you have but neither should you change yourself for someone to be comfortable. By this I mean, don't act social just so that you can impress a girl you like but be yourself.

Other than that, don't have low self-esteem. Just be yourself. Don't procrastinate, be lazy or anything else that is bad. Don't worry about being shy, slowly try not to be shy. Practice laughing so you can get a good laugh. Don't care what other people think about you, don't try to impress anyone just be yourself.

Finally slowly make friends at the time you feel it is right. Don't force yourself nor should you not make friends when you feel you want to and you are in the right atmosphere.
   
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Ilikebirds Offline
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Re: I'm just clueless about what to do now - November 21st 2009, 08:43 PM

But that's the problem. Being myself sucks. If i'm just myself people will probably find me boring or non-interesting. I usually have low energy and am sleepy, and I find regular conversations people make uninteresting. It's pretty weird though, because some days(rare days) I will wake up with more energy and be less of an introvert, I wish I had more energy everyday but anyways, I guess lack of energy is part of being an introvert...
I hate myself...

And about letting things happen, well that's basically what i've been doing, and my life still sucks. I need to change but I can't.

Thanks for the advice.
   
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Re: I'm just clueless about what to do now - November 22nd 2009, 03:00 PM

Trust me I know how you feel I mean for years I didnt have friends I was the odd ball the weird kid no one would take the time to get to know n for the most part I kinda still am. But I found friends weather there real or not I really don't know most of the time lol but when you are alone with one of your friends and they open up to you and you can do the same thats when you know there real. You just have to try to get to know people find people with the same interests or that are like you in some ways....weather thats girls or guys... some people find it easier to connect with the opposite sex which I am one of them people so I couldnt tell you that much about girls except Im one lol all you have to do is be yourself...I can't tell you about the group thing because well I'm in the same situation but idk sometimes its better to go to another town n like meet new friends like that...Most of my friends are from another town which is really kewl cause they dont have any pree misconseptions of you...and as for your girl problem being yourself can help more then anything...girls like someone whos honest even if it hurts, they like you to be careing and kind sometimes romantic and they often dont care what anyone thinks...although I'm "one of the guys" so I see how guys work more then girls lol but idk if you ever need ne advice feel free to pm me any time n I will help as best as I can hope I helped a lil
~Kayla~


R.I.P Lee, Logan, Austin 3/5/09

As tears fall from my eyes,I realized I didn't know them as much as I knew everyone else,Yet what I knew was they where apart of me in different ways,And as I watched them be put in the ground,Their spirits floating,Apart of me went with them...........You will forever be missed and loved...Never forgotten
   
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