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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Kayla200 Offline
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What can I do? - November 21st 2009, 06:56 PM

OK so my mom has been telling me more and more about everything lately. The other day she was really mad when I got home from school n I asked her why well it turns out that she has a seperate checking account for bills that she keeps putting money into till she has to pay her bills so she can be ahead. She resently had 2000 in there and it was drained to about 100 and it was my step father who took the money out. Later on that day she asked him about it and he gave her a stupid grin. he has resently been substantially cut down on hours at his job. He used to work 5 days a week but now only works 4 and he used to get off at 5 but he gets home around 2 to 3. my mom works 6 days a week from 7:30am to 5pm and usually brings her work home with her. Shes an lpn n she usually brings the kids home. She can't keep working that much and theres no option for her to get a second job. She has tryed to get my step freak to get a second job but he refuses. He is a lazy freak he comes home from work and sits on his but all day and drinks beer and watches tv. He refuses to clean or cook or anything. So me and my mom get stuck cleaning n what not. I just don't know what to do. I hate him I always have but this has made it worse. We are now going to be tight on money for 2 months now cause of him. My mom has morphea which can kill her its not contagious and no one knows how you get it but shes suposed to be takeing shots for it so it can possibly slow it down and she hasnt cause she can't afford it cause of my step freak. Shes becomming really sick which was usual when she wasnt takeing her meds and I'm scared. Also she needs sergery on her feet cause there messed up bad but she wont get it cause she has to keep working. I'm trying to get a job to help her out but I cant find anywhere thats hireing that will hire me although I've put in a lot of applications. The thing is that she wouldnt accept my help anyway. I don't know what to do I hate my step freak and I know my mom is starting to he isn't nice n hes a jerk. I'm scared for my mom n I'm sick of him. I need to come up with money for my second technical school after this year because I know mom wont be able to do it now because of my step moron n I'm just loseing it n scared. Please Advise would be appreciated
~Kayla~


R.I.P Lee, Logan, Austin 3/5/09

As tears fall from my eyes,I realized I didn't know them as much as I knew everyone else,Yet what I knew was they where apart of me in different ways,And as I watched them be put in the ground,Their spirits floating,Apart of me went with them...........You will forever be missed and loved...Never forgotten

Last edited by Kayla200; November 22nd 2009 at 03:29 PM.
   
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jaimelu Offline
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Re: What is his problem hes bleeding us dry n doesnt care - December 3rd 2009, 03:34 AM

Hey Kayla,
It sounds like you and your mom have got to sit down and talk to make her realise that he's killing the family-emotionally, mentally, and financially. Either he's gotta shape up, or he's gotta get out. Try to get the cleaning done first to help your mom-I do that even when I'm watching my four bros and sises. Help her get off her feet more. If she keeps saying she doesn't need the help, remind her that she actually does, that yuo're very worried about her and scared and families help each other, so you're here for her to do what needs to be done. As for the financial stuff, maybe you could talk to a financial planner or consultant, and if you're 17, you can def. get a job somehwere, just not someplace big. A have a freidn who waitresses for 10$ an hour, so don't give up. Ask other family and friends for help on this guy-if you and your mom can't do sth, maybe a lawyer can...(*divorce
   
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Strider Offline
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Re: What is his problem hes bleeding us dry n doesnt care - December 5th 2009, 03:51 PM

Hi Kayla,

I wholeheartedly agree that you need to sit down with your mom and talk this over. Your stepdad had no reason to take the money out of her account and it sounds like he isn't putting much effort into the family either. Your mom really needs to realize that he really isn't helping the situation at home and he needs to shape up.

The first thing you should mention to your mom is that she should have that bank account under her own name and she should be the only person allowed to access it. Get her to go to the bank and talk to someone there to find out how to do this. She can't risk losing that much money to your stepdad again and she was the one who rightfully earned it.

Then it would be a good idea to talk to her about your stepdad. Explain to her that she really doesn't need to put up with all the things he does and she doesn't need to rely on things from him. If she truly isn't happy, then she should know that she has your support if she chooses to leave him. She may feel she needs to stay to keep things together for her kids, but if she realizes her kids are behind her 100% on this, then she might feel more comfortable leaving. Money might be tight at first if she does leave your stepdad, but you seem to be in the same situation right now.

In the meantime, lending your mom a hand when it comes to cooking and cleaning would really help her out. She's stressed enough working so much that she doesn't need more stress when she gets home. Lending a hand would give her some time to work on her take-home work and would take the weight off her feet.

I really hope things work out for you.
Take care.

Nat.


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