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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Double X Offline
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Someone I don't like - December 9th 2009, 06:44 PM

This is so pointless, but here we go.

So there is this guy in two of my classes who is a complete arse. Loud, abrasive, literally insults people he thinks he is better than as a joke. He brags about the parties he's been to, the girls he hooked up with. He is destined to be a party fratboy in college. Whatever, I can ignore people like that. BUT, I have a problem.

In my school seniors can leave lunch and go out for half an hour instead of eating in the cafe. In one of my classes, he has no friends he really knows well enough to go to lunch with because a lot of people, which is surprising because he normally has his posse. In the other, he has a lot and they are all assholes. As me and my friend were walking out for lunch, he asked to come with us. We didn't want him, he would just be an ass and ruin everything. But its such a dick move, and we are nice people so even though we hated it he came along. He was loud, and just dissed on people that he didn't like and it was unbearable. He was nicer too, but only because he has that pack mentality.

Tomorrow we have the aforementioned lunch, and next Wednesday will be one as well.

So my question is: is there anyway we can prevent him from coming with us without being an asshole to him? I know he is too, but it is still a mean thing to do.


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Re: Someone I don't like - December 9th 2009, 08:01 PM

Hey Kyle,

This is a tricky situation to be in, but I wouldn't say it's pointless to ask for help! Realizing that this guy is a problem is the first step, and the second is for him to realize that he's a problem. I know you don't want to tell him that he can't hang out with you and your friend because it doesn't sound too good, but I think you really need to tell him what you think.

Next time this guy asks to hang out with you and your friend just say to him that last time all he did was diss and complain about other people and it wasn't very much fun. Let him know that you don't think it's cool to be talking about other people that way. After hearing that I'd make a guess that he would either say he wont act that way and still hang out with you or just not hang out with you. If he wants to hang out and says he wont diss anybody, then maybe give him another chance.

Good luck! I hope this guy turns around.

Nat.


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Re: Someone I don't like - December 9th 2009, 08:08 PM

I was always told to 'kill them with kindness'. It's so easy to be nice to people you like, but a right pain to nice to people you don't. I wouldn't make too much of a fuss yet, but I would say that if he continues to irritate you you have the right to tell him to go away - but you can't really say that when you've really only sat with him once... Just stick it out for a couple of weeks, then you'll have the 'experience' of his personality, and will have the knowledge and trust to say that you don't want to sit by him.



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Re: Someone I don't like - December 10th 2009, 07:36 PM

We just booked it out of there before he could come talk to us...yay bravery!


"We will ask nothing. We will demand nothing. We will take." -- May 1968, French Graffiti
   
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