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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Alex xox Offline
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Should I See Him? - December 10th 2009, 06:45 AM

Sorry if this is in the wrong place but hey, well my bother goes to universtity 3 hours away and he's the person I'm closest to (he's just got engaged and since I was three went to bording school(people think I should deal with him being at uni better cause of the bordinng but honestly their so wrong)). I've recently been diagonsed with depression( I guessed it had 2 years ago) and now my brother came down for the last two days and left this morning and I nearly collapsed I was crying so hard. Now my mum doesn't think I should see him again cause it upsets me so much, but what I really want to know is should I see him even if it really upsets me?


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Re: Should I See Him? - December 10th 2009, 08:06 AM

Hey. If its your brother then yes you need to see him. Even if it upsets you. Thats your family and your mom shouldnt be trying to get you away from him even if it would she thinks it would help. Honestly no it wouldnt. If you NEVER got to see your brother then you would get even more depressed because you would want to see him. trust me it gets better.


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Alex xox Offline
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Re: Should I See Him? - December 10th 2009, 03:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrittLovesTim View Post
Hey. If its your brother then yes you need to see him. Even if it upsets you. Thats your family and your mom shouldnt be trying to get you away from him even if it would she thinks it would help. Honestly no it wouldnt. If you NEVER got to see your brother then you would get even more depressed because you would want to see him. trust me it gets better.
yep thats what I think but I suppose mums just trying to help, it doesnt help that I'm not seeing him again until january as his fionces mum died in october but he knows I'm depressed and that he is the one person that helps when I'm in a really bad day/week


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Re: Should I See Him? - December 10th 2009, 09:09 PM

Hi Alex,

I definitely agree that you should still see your brother. Keeping all of those feelings inside and not being able to spend time with the person closest to you would not help in the least despite what your mom thinks about it. I think you should talk this over with your mom and explain to her that you really need to be able to see your brother and that not seeing him will not help. Also, do your best to keep in contact with your brother while he's away by talking on the phone, sending him letters or emails, or talking online. Knowing that you have some connection with him might help a bit.

Are you going to counseling about your depression, or have you considered seeing a counselor about it? It might help to have that kind of support when you are feeling this way. They'll be able to talk to you about how you are feeling and give you advice on ways to cope during the time your brother is not around.

Remember that January isn't too far away. I know it seems far right now, but it'll be here before you know it. You'll get to see your brother soon

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me any time.
Take care.

Nat.


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Re: Should I See Him? - December 12th 2009, 01:58 AM

Hello there Alex. I agree. Talk with your brother. But remember not to over do it as he is about to get married and he will need his space too. Just as Britt and Strider said, see him. But also as your mother does, it will help also. Because as you continue to see him go, you never know how bad you might crash as he goes again, especially as he is getting married and his focus will shift to his new life. So just remember not to cry as you see him go the next time you see him.
   
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