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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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thatxgirl1621 Offline
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Question my brother's best friend and me - December 12th 2009, 12:26 AM

So, my brother and I have always been really close, he has basically been my best friend. He goes to college and is about 20 and I'm 15. My parents left for a weekend over the summer to go watch my sister play softball, so my brother and I were home alone. He brought 3 of his college friends to our cabin. He went to sleep early and his friends and i were drinking (not my first time drinking). After awhile all of his friends went to bed except his one "Joey". Joey and I were drunk and had been flirting all night. We ended up making out and some other things. About two months later i couldn't keep it from my brother any longer. He flipped shit on his friend and me. Him and Joey are no longer friends and i don't forsee them to ever be again. As for my brothers and my relationship....he won't talk to me and its been about 3 months since i told him, and it really upsets me. I'm aware i made a mistake but i don't know how to fix it. help!!

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Re: my brother's best friend and me - December 12th 2009, 02:15 AM

Patience. Just try and talk to him. Just short hi's and hello's and very short conversations and give him space. But above all you must be patient. When you try to talk to him and he walks away just let him. Don't force him to talk to you just give him space.
   
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Re: my brother's best friend and me - December 12th 2009, 03:49 AM

Hi Mae,

It's understandable that you and your brother are feeling the way you are right now. Communication and trust are important in a relationship, and it seems like those are both under some stress right now. I think that your brother does have a reason to be upset, but he should still do his best to put it aside and realize that you are his sister and you should be there for one another.

Jacksonian is right by saying you should give him space. Your brother needs some time to cool off and sort out his feelings. That can take a long time, and losing a friendship is hard to handle. He needs to be able to make his own decisions in his own time.

When you feel ready to talk to your brother, try to sort out what you want to say to him beforehand. Find out exactly what you want to say in a way of explanation or perhaps an apology and just let him know that you want to be able to talk to him about this and fix it with him. Listen to what he has to say as well, and find out if there is anything you can clarify or discuss with him to help him handle it better.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to your brother in person, writing a letter is always an option. You may find it easier to write out what you are feeling rather than saying it to him out loud. That also gives him a chance to read what you have to say and think about his response before he comes to talk to you.

I'm sorry things turned out like they did, but the best thing to do is give your brother some space and then talk with him about it later. I hope that everything goes alright between you two.

Take care.
Nat.


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