TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
alonealways Offline
^.^
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
alonealways's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Gender: Female
Location: Texas

Posts: 230
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: August 19th 2009

BEST friends? - December 21st 2009, 03:57 AM

I'm really frustrated right now.. and I'm not sure what to do. I have a friend (let's call her G) who declares I am her best friend and that's very nice of her but I just can't confide in her the way I do my other really close friends. I have ANOTHER friend (let's call her A) who I can confide in but she doesn't REALLY listen. My OTHER "best friend" has always been somebody I could confide in.. but she'd constantly complain about how she wasn't a good friend. She'd also whine and moan about stupid things and I would get annoyed because she was often ditzy and if something didn't effect me DIRECTLY and didn't hurt me in an INCREDIBLE way, she didn't care. The problem is.. all three of these friends still think they are my best and closest friends. I've been happier separating myself from them but they're starting to realize what I'm doing and they're trying to become closer.. and I don't know how to tell them no when I've always acted like everything was okay. Okay so I didn't really act, I thought it was okay. But now I have friends who let me talk to them and give me advice and help. It's an equal friendship still but they actually LISTEN to me.. unlike these friends. Do I tell them how I feel? Do I just keep separating myself from them? What do I do? ANY ADVICE APPRECIATED.

Oh.. and a few of them are becoming closer to my little sister. :/ So they kind of use that against me at times. Sorry this is long. Thanks!



   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
gabbystar Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
gabbystar's Avatar
 
Name: Gabby
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 23
Join Date: December 20th 2009

Re: BEST friends? - December 21st 2009, 01:48 PM

To be honest, ignoring the situation and trying to drift away is not the best solution and will be probably cause a tense relationship between you and these friends.

The best advice i can give you is to meet up with them sit them down and explain how you feel.. i wouldnt mention the good listening friends as it may hurt their feelings... i would just explain the effect they have on you and tell them that is why you have been trying to distance yourself..

they could either change and you could have a better relationship with them, or you could go seperate ways easier

love
x


'My brain feels bomb-like'
I dont know the key to success.. but the key to failure is trying to please everybody
  Send a message via MSN to gabbystar  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
Tash-la
I've been here a while
********
 
Strider's Avatar
 
Name: Nat
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: A broken glass picture

Posts: 1,448
Join Date: January 19th 2009

Re: BEST friends? - December 21st 2009, 06:49 PM

Hi there,

It does sound like you're in a frustrating situation, but I think that Gabby has some really good advice with what to do. Distancing yourself from your friends wont solve the problem, and them trying to get closer to you is just showing how much they want to keep the friendship going. I know that they don't listen very well, but keeping them in the dark about it wont help them solve the problem.

Sit down with your friends and be honest. Try explaining to them how you feel and that you aren't always comfortable confiding things in them. The important thing to emphasize is that you want to keep them as friends and work this out. They sound like good people and good friends, even if you would like them to listen more. If you explain that you just need some time to talk with them and would like them to take what you say seriously, I'm sure they'd give it a chance.

I hope you are able to work this out.
Nat.


http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/40/signaturep.png
The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Jacksonian Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Jacksonian's Avatar
 
Name: Jackson
Gender: Male
Location: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Posts: 1,522
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: November 6th 2009

Re: BEST friends? - December 23rd 2009, 05:45 PM

Keep G. Because she seems to be a good person. If she is a good person, keep her if not tell her. For A, if she doesn't listen don't confide in her. Keep friends with her if you want to but if she doesn't listen don't confide in her, just friends but not best friends. For the other girl who you said was ditzy, don't call her your best friend if she doesn't act as your best friend. So don't tell her stuff which are personal that she'll end up brushing away.

Well, i suggest you test them. To see if they really have changed their habits so that they could truly be your best friends. If they just act as true friends to keep you, I say separate but don't sever. By that I mean, just be friends but not best friends. And also don't let them bring your little sister into this. If they use that against you, then they are not true friends.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
emma01 Offline
Hello :D
I've been here a while
********
 
emma01's Avatar
 
Name: Emma
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: New Zealand

Posts: 1,386
Join Date: October 5th 2009

Re: BEST friends? - December 26th 2009, 03:11 AM

Well they obviously all do like you, and I think its best if you keep all of them as close friends, but just not you "best friends." If you need to tell someone something in confidence, tell your real best friends who will listen, dont confide in G. With A, just keep her as a friend, but dont tel her about issues because if she doesnt listen, shes not worth it and dont waste your breath. With the 3rd girl, if you think she is a good friend, tell her, and if she keeps going on just say something like "I think your a good friend and thats what matters stop going on about it.." or just something 'short and sharp' (so thats quick and straight to the point) and if something is bothering you, dont go to her.
So I still think you should keep them as friends, you can tell them how you feel if you want to, thats not a bad idea, but if you have any problems, take them to the friends that you can confide in and trust, that will listen, and that you consider your best friends!
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
friends

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.