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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Voldermorts Stalker
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friend not respecting how i feel - January 2nd 2010, 11:12 AM

my best friend wont ever respect how i feel, thursday i spent all day with her and she slept round mine on thursday onto friday and spent all of friday with her until like nearly 6pm on friday, and on friday my friend asks me if i can go round hers and i tell her im really tired, maybe another day, so she goes ok, and then later she asks my mum if i go round hers and my mum says yes thats fine. so later i tell my mum im tired i want alone time so i dont go round my firneds, so today (saturday) she has just rang me up and i have told her im still really tired i want a day where i can just chill out, she starts begging me to come round hers, i would but i want a day alone, where i can just relax at home and have a day without any friends around me. but she kept begging me and eventually she sounds upset with me and calls me 'gay' and then tells me i am a pain in the bum. im so pissed off with her it un true she ment to be my best friend but best friends respect how each other feel and stuff. i know she like my company, but i know that when im this tired and am in a really bad mood it is not a good idea for me to see my friends as i can get really snappy and i dont want to upset my friend. im now sat here nearly crying. i know she is my best friend but i have just spent the past two days with her, is a day on my own really so much to ask for ?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: friend not respecting how i feel - January 2nd 2010, 11:25 AM

she sounds very annoying! tell her to stop being so clingy and give you some space. i think she needs to understand that smothering people is not the way to keep friends.

don't feel bad though, you've done nothing wrong.. she's just very needy.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: friend not respecting how i feel - January 2nd 2010, 12:06 PM

she can be annoying at times, and to some extent she is an only child, she has a brother who is serverly disabled, and her other brother lives away from home, she is counted as an only child in someways. my mum says she just wants company and i can understand she wants company but she does have other friends, who she can see. and on the average week i do see roughly 3 - 4 times a week (mostly at the train station in the mornings ) and usually i spend saturday or sunday with her or a friday evening with her. i don't so much feel bad about it, she just really upsets me by not listening to how i feel and letting me have alone time.
   
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Re: friend not respecting how i feel - January 2nd 2010, 03:39 PM

It sounds like she's quite lonely, however, she should still respect your feelings. Have you ever lost it at her or anything, just told her how you feel? I think that will help

(you don't have to loose it with her to show her how you feel that is...but still, tell her)



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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: friend not respecting how i feel - January 2nd 2010, 04:06 PM

i kinda lost it abit with her today, i dont think she talking to me at the moment she has not rang or spoke to me all day. well apart from when she rang me earlier. she might be lonely, but when she had a boyfriend i didnt matter now she does not have a boyfriend she suddenly wants me every weekend. she does have other friends, she moans when they say to her why dont you see us more often, she never sees her other friends. she should see her other friends, but she does'nt, today she could have seen her other friends but she does'nt. and usually rings me up moaning at me she is bored. i can't be there everyweekend, and today i really do just need a day at home where i can try to relax and chill out. it just seems as though wanting a day alone where i can just chill out and relax is to much to ask for when it comes to my friend.
   
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Re: friend not respecting how i feel - January 4th 2010, 04:40 PM

That's not too much to ask. But maybe she takes you to be a closer friend than her other friends. It maybe that she takes you as her best friend and really likes your company(as you said). Just explain to her you need your time and then tell her you'll see her later.
   
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