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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
love2laugh Offline
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AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 05:11 PM

I've had several posts on this already, but none of them had the whole story. Right now I really feel like ranting, so here's the whole story. It's really long.

Me and my friend (let's call him J) where super tight. I'd never had a friendship like it before. We would talk on the phone for up to 4 hours every day. Not a day went by that we didn't talk. We didn't go to the same school, but he was my best friend. It was my dream to go to his school, and we convinced my parents to let me (more on that latter)We hung out every weekend and did everything together. So many people asked if we were brother/sister or going out. We always lied and told them we were cousins.

Anyway, we're both really into theatre, infact we met in a play two years ago. So we both audition for a musical. Singing really isn't my strong suit. He got a callback and I didn't. I was totally fine with it, in fact I was expecting it. He ended up getting a part. Not a huge part, but a pretty big one. I was super proud of him and honestly not jelous. He told me I should sign up to be on crew, and I did. I thought it would be fun, and it was.

About halfway through the run, he started acting kinda weird. He was ignoring me, we weren't doing things together as much, but we still talked on the phone some. I thought he was just annoyed with all the little kids in the performance. When I was talking to someone else they agreed he was in a wierd mood. I dismissed it as a wierd mood, and annoyance with the kids. Pretty soon we weren't talking on the phone at all. We still talked when we saw eachother but it just wasn't the same. Eventually the play ended.

The next week I was supposed to start at my new school/his school. We still hadn't talked on the phone for over a week and I hadn't seen him for a couple days. We didn't talk on the phone the night before I was supposed to transfer. We did talk on im and I convinced him to come with me early on the first day. It took a lot of work to convice him, but it worked. My entire first day he practically ignored me. We walked home together and talked, but it still wasn't the same.

I've been at the school for about a week. Before lunch we meet at our locker and go to lunch. We don't say anything. The other day we ended up sitting alone. He didn't say a single word. Just texted other people. Today at lunch he litteraly turned his back to me and talked with some other girl.

He hasn't intoduced me to any of his friends, and I really don't have any other friends at this school. It really sucks. A lot.

He only talks to me when he needs something now. If he needs a ride home from school, suddenly he'll talk to me. After my audition for the school play, he called to see what we had to do for the auditons so HE could prepare. I'm sick of it.

I hate him, but love him at the same time. I really wish things could just go back to the way they were, but I don't know how to do that.

There's a lot more going on, but I'm to lazy to type it all now.


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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 05:39 PM

Hi there,

Have you talked to him about this or asked him why he is avoiding you? It might help to talk some things over with him and ask if there's anything wrong.

Also, don't wait for him to introduce you to people. If he isn't introducing you to his friends, try introducing yourself. A simple 'hi, my name is what's yours?' would work perfectly. If you want to make other friends in the school, try talking to people that sit near you in class or try joining a club or sports team. I'm sure there's plenty of people that would love to get to know you.

I hope this goes okay with your friend.
Nat.


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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 05:41 PM

Have you asked him what's up? Somthing must have happened that he's acting like that, and you have a right to know.
   
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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 06:23 PM

I asked him on facebook chat... it went something like this

Me-Why have you been avoiding me all week?
Him- i haven't
Me-It seems that way
Him- im sorry
Me- I'm not the only one who's noticed
Him- oh, got to go

and that was about a week ago. we haven't talked about it since. He's really pissing me off. I want to slap him and hug him at the same time.... if that makes sense.


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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 08:24 PM

For these kinds of things, it's better to stick with talking in person. It's better for conveying meanings and emotion- and there's no easy way out. Maybe talk to him sometime before or after school? Or even outside of school would work.


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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 08:31 PM

I was planning on talking to him tommorrow before school. I go over to his house in the morning and his mom gives both of us a ride to school. I just don't know what to say, or how to say it. And I was thinking maybe I should wait, till I have friends, so if he gets mad, I'm not all alone.

.... god I sound so pathetic.


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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 09:30 PM

I might be wrong, but maybe talking to him for 4 hours every day is a bit too much? Maybe he needs his space and to meet new people, but that doesn't necessarily means he's going to ditch you completely. If he does ditch you for his other friends, I don't think I would want to be his friend anymore. Do you have anyone else you're close to?
   
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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 09:35 PM

It wasn't 4 hours every day. It was anywhere from 5 mins to 4 hours, depending on our schedule and what happened that day. All my other close friends are at my old school. And i totally understand wanting new friends and stuff. But it's more than just that. He completley avoids talking to me now, unless he wants something, or is bored. It's really hard cuz he's really my only friend at this new school. I've only been at it for less than a week.


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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 09:41 PM

If he continues doing that to you for a while, maybe confront him about it in person then. If all else fails, stop being his friend. There are people who are better if he's going to have that attitude. Good riddance.
   
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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 28th 2009, 09:45 PM

It a little hard for me to just drop my best friend. This is this first time anything like this has happened and I would hate for our friendship to end because of it. I think I'm going to talk to him tommorrow morning. I have absoultly no clue what to say though.


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Re: AUGH... so sick of it all. - January 29th 2009, 04:51 PM

I chickened. I couldn't talk to him. I'm such a wimp. But tommorrow, I'm not eating lunch with him. I don't care if I have to sit alone. I refuse to sit with him.

The fact that I didn't get into the school play isn't helping

And now I'm pmsing so I can't stop crying.

And my dad's pissed cuz I don't talk to him.

God, I just can't stand it anymore.


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