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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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thisiscourtney Offline
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When your parents don't like what you like. - January 5th 2010, 02:55 AM

...such as what you like in hair. I recently cut my hair on my own, and just dyed it blonde. I like it, even though the dye job is uneven and I'd prefer it lighter, so I want to fix that. My mom screamed when she found out I cut it and told me it looks terrible. She keeps giving me these horrible looks like I'm the ugliest thing in the world. It's making me feel really self-conscious and I know she won't be happy when I mention that I want to bleach it.

I tell her that I like these things, but she continues to glare at me and add her remarks, and I hate it! How do I get her to stop doing it?


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Re: When your parents don't like what you like. - January 5th 2010, 03:18 AM

What I would do is sit her down and matter-of-factly ask her if she really hates your hair. If she says yes, see if you can come to an agreement on what looks good and maybe you could change it. If she says no (or any variation on that), then ask her to stop giving you dirty looks and saying mean things because it's your hair.
   
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Re: When your parents don't like what you like. - January 5th 2010, 02:05 PM

I'd talk to her about it. See if you can compromise on something you are both happy with. Just tell her how her actions make you feel. Make it clear that it's your hair and that you'd appreciate if she would accept you for how you are and what you like. But do try to listen to her side of the story too. She may have a valid concern. A compromise you can both agree to is definitely best.

Good luck, PM me if you ever need anything.


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Last edited by TheNumber42; January 6th 2010 at 01:23 AM.
   
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Re: When your parents don't like what you like. - January 5th 2010, 02:22 PM

Just tell her that you respect her choices, and she should respect yours.
Or scream in her face when she next comes in the room you're in, insult what she's wearing and glare at her like she's the ugliest thing in the world. See how she likes it.


Seriously, don't worry, your mums your mum. You're not meant to like the same thing, I'd be worried if you did.
Good luck.



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Re: When your parents don't like what you like. - January 5th 2010, 08:51 PM

First off let me say that your hairdo sounds pretty, uh, unique, but in a good way.

Don't worry about what ur mom thinks, all that matters is what you think... don't let her opinion get u down she is probably just trying to look out for you.

That said, dont change and dont compromise unless you really want to ur mom has to know that u r old enough to choose ur own hair style...wats next is she gonna want to dress u too? Just respectfully disagree with her, there is nothing wrong with that.


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Re: When your parents don't like what you like. - January 5th 2010, 10:09 PM

Hey Courtney,
You know what you're always going to get this with parents, rarely do they 100% approve of anything. I'm 18 and my parents don't let me do what I want lol. You learn to either live with it or they have to live with it.
Try and speak to your mum maturely and explain you have your hair the way you want it, and if you can't reach a compromise it stays the way it is.
Try and be grown up about it and hopefully she'll listen to you.
Paige xox
   
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Re: When your parents don't like what you like. - January 6th 2010, 07:30 PM

Ok, well, try thinking about it from your mother's point of view and ask yourself these questions :

1. Does it make you seem respectable ?
2. Is your mother complaining because she wants her specific style on you or because she thinks it just isn't representable ?

Think about it, put style aside for a minute and look at what you have done then decide whether it is good and representable.
And also keep in mind paige's advice.
   
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Re: When your parents don't like what you like. - January 6th 2010, 10:43 PM

Hi Courtney,

It really sucks when parents don't like what we like, but that's just how it turns out sometimes. I'm sorry that your mom is reacting so negatively to your haircut, especially since you put so much effort into it. It's a big thing to cut your own hair, and maybe your mom isn't giving it a chance.

The thing your mom might be concerned of is 'what other people will think'. A lot of parents have this thought in their head, and I suppose it's understandable. Their children are a reflection upon them, and sometimes they overlook the fact that their children can grow up and make their own decisions.

What I suggest you do is go about this maturely. Hair is nothing to argue or feud over. Take the time to sit down with your mom and let her know that you wanted to give this a try and even though she doesn't like it you would like her to respect your decision. Listen to what she has to say and maybe help her get involved and see if she wants to help next time you decide on a style. Sometimes parents just want to be a part of what we do and this could be your mom's way of showing that she's jealous that she isn't helping you with these things anymore.

I hope everything goes well for you.
Take care.

Nat.


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