friendship means nothing

[hott6pac]

hi all, just a rant, but if you do take the time to read it, please do reply.. i'd appreciate it..

Basically, im a 20 year old guy.. i think i'm loyal, i've got a good heart but
i've never really had good friends or hung out properly in my life. i guess i'm a bit of a loner. i'm quiet, and that's not me thinking i am, people always tell me to speak up, but because of my experiences in life, i've turned quiet and turned into a loner.

i dont drink, i don't do drugs, im a virgin. wow, i sound pretty boring huh?? 20 and i haven't done all that. i've never been drunk.. maybe that makes me boring.

I've been to one club in my life with one guy i knew back in school but it was horrible. the whole ''fake'' atmosphere of people drinking and pretending to have fun, selling drugs and having 1 night stands with women.

see, people today don't value sex and friendship. It's all seen as just fun and disposable and it seems we're taught not to not take it too seriously.

well, i do. I feel such an idiot writing this. writing it just lets me vent because i don't know how to any other way.. you could suggest a sport but i'd never go n do it. i have no drive any more.


well i met a girl online when i was 15. we got on great. we had a 6 month relationship. i cried buckets when we split up.. i was such an idiot.

i then met another girl online when i was 19. she turned out to be a cheat, but i loved her so so much. she was so cute.. i just wish she wasnt like that.

i dont even know where to go anymore. i just feel stuck in a rut.

tonight i was supposed to go out with 2 friends. one of whom kept making excuses and it turned into a full blown argument, he was saying im shy and timid and to drive down to his house n say stuff so he could hit me etc

guess its another chapter in my life



thanks for reading.

[WillO'Wisp]

I'm sorry to hear you had such bad experiences. Even though they sound bad at the moment, they turn you into a stronger, wiser person in the long run. Things won't always be like this.
By the way you don't sound boring. I am very impressed to hear you don't drink or do drugs or anything of a sort, and are still a Virgin at the age of 20. That's very impressive actually. I never drank or smoked or did drugs or went to clubs either, I WAS a Virgin at 20 until at almost 21 I lost it to someone who didn't even deserve me. Bad moment, that sucked, huge mistake. But, I know better now. I'm glad there are other people out there who don't smoke or drink like me.
Maybe we can be friends!

[amanda8090]

Well I dont consider you a loner. To be honest you're a really good guy and any girl would be lucky to have you. I'm sorry about hearing about your bad experiences before but honestly it's okay to be quiet its just your personality. Dont change yourself for anyone else. Clubs and drinking just isnt your atmosphere and someday you'll meet friends who like the same things as you. It just takes time, I hope everything works out for you,

[hott6pac]

thanks for the replies, i appreciate them. I'm also glad there's someone else who doesn't smoke or drink cos most people think your weird if you don't.

[aspire009]

Friendship is not necessary but as a human being we need to share out thoughts and feeling through something, whether by friends, journals, music, so on. You could stop focusing on girls for a while, and start concentrating into something else you're good at to feel better...