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feeling so alone - February 2nd 2009, 03:58 PM

about 2 years ago i found out my mum was having a relationship with a man other than my dad, she explained itand eventually regained my trust. about 1 year later i found messages on her phone from someone else and eventually, recently, it all came out. mostly it was really hard seeing my dad hurt but my mum said there was a lot of stuff i dindt know and it wasnt that simple, but that my parnets would be fine and it was ok. i dont trust her at all now and as my brother has moved away i feel so alone being here and being so distant from my parents. most of all it's so hard to know that all my childhood memories and happy family memories are tainted and maybe they were never happy. sorry if this seems like im moaning, but i just felt i had to let it out and talk to people about it.
   
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Re: feeling so alone - February 2nd 2009, 05:44 PM

Hi there,
Welcome to TeenHelp. I'm glad you posted about this.

It's important to realize that your mom may not have been doing this when you were a child and that your memories are just how they were. How you remembered them before is how they should be and something this recent shouldn't change that. Just remember what actually happened instead of what came afterward.

I know it must be uncomfortable being alone with your parents. Would you feel comfortable spending some time with your dad and talking with him about this? Or maybe a close friend? You don't need to feel alone at home. You could always hang out with some friends and try to get this off your mind.
Just remember that what your mom did isn't your problem. Your parents both care about you and I'm sure they still want you to be happy. It will take a long time to heal your trust with your mom and it may not happen at all depending on how you feel, but don't let your childhood get ruined by that.

Nat.


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Re: feeling so alone - February 12th 2009, 05:09 AM

I was in the same situation a few years ago and my parents did end up getting divorced (although it was not specifically over the other man at the time.) The important thing to realize is, regardless of the state of your parents relationship, it doesn't mean they'd love you any less. Infact it was probably the happy moments of family life you remember so vividly that kept them together. The care and feeling of mutual responsibility in a family relationship is different to the passion between a man and woman, and the depletion of one doesn't necciarily render the other meaningless. Trust in the love your family has for you and when your dad's had the time to recover a little, have a talk with him. You need to let your feelings out to recover too. Best of luck to you and your family.
   
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