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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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MadPoet Offline
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Name: Amanda.
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Don't know what to say. - February 2nd 2009, 06:50 PM

I'm not sure if this is in the right section, so feel free to move it if it's not.

I know this is kind of pointless..but today I basically felt like a really bad friend. One of my friends started to talk to me about how she's kind of having a hard time with her life right now, and she actually started crying in the middle of class. And I just sat there like an idiot not knowing what to say at all. Which I find completely weird, because if I were to try to give someone advice like online or something, it wouldn't be like that at all. But when I'm sitting in front of someone watching them cry, I have no idea what to say or do to to help, and it makes me feel like I'm a really bad friend, not having anything to say when I want to be able to. It might've had something to do with me not exactly being the closest of friends with her, but I still thought it was weird..cause usually it's not like that for me.

Is that normal? I want to help people when they're having a hard time like that, but I just can't think of a single thing to say.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: Don't know what to say. - February 2nd 2009, 08:36 PM

Hi Amanda,
I think this is the right section too.

Sometimes people freeze up in situations like this- it's perfectly normal and perfectly okay! You are not a bad friend. You just didn't know what to do at that moment.

The best thing you could do in that situation was just be there for them and show them that they have support. You could do that in numerous different ways. You could just listen to what they had to say and let them vent to you for a while, you could talk to them and say something supportive, or you could give them a hug. Those would be the best in that kind of situation, since it was in class.
You could plan to hang out with them again later to make sure they've got someone there for them to talk some more if they need to. Sometimes what people need the most is someone to just listen or be a friend.

What you did does not make you a bad friend. People freeze up, and what it comes down to is that the internet and real life are two very very different things. That's fine. Do what you feel comfortable with doing and maybe next time try something different if you feel it wasn't right.

All the best to you.
Nat.


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