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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Exclamation Is there any hope for my family? - March 27th 2010, 07:23 AM

I have a perfectly disfunctional family.
By that i mean, my parent's arent divorced, but sometimes i wish they were. They fight like crazy, and my dad always blames it on me, by saying that im bitchy and disrespectful (even when im not!)
And then my dad and my brother fight SO MUCH. my brother is 18, and he wants to be independent, and hes in college too, but still living at home. and tonight my dad and him got in a huge fight because my brother wanted to go out, and my dad didnt want him too, and so he told my brother to not come home. and then my mom thinks im a drug dealer because i took $40 out of my bank account and she doesn't believe me. overall my parents don't trust me, i hate living at home, and when i go out i never want to come back because i don't know what's going to fly my way. someone please give me advice on how to get my parents trust back and such.



I want to fly away like a little girl again.
I want to believe in the things i once did.
Ride on the swings,
let the breeze fly through my hair.
Ah, the kid ages.

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Re: Is there any hope for my family? - March 27th 2010, 11:01 AM

Firstly, wow, that sounds like an incredibly stressful situation for you. It must make it really hard for you to study or concentrate on anything. And it's really wrong for your dad to be blaming you for their fighting, I can understand that he's probably upset, but it's really unfair.

Secondly, you say you want to get your parents' trust back? Does that mean that you did something to make them lose their trust in you or have they never trusted you?

Thirdly, my advice would be to try and spend more time at friends' houses or at the library or something like that. Make sure that your parents know where you are, so they can't get angry at you for that, but it just might be easier for you to be spending less time in an environment like that. Apart from that, there's not much that you can do until you are old enough to move out. I assume that your parents aren't abusive as such, they're just cranky? I find it is best to try not to shout and yell back at them. I know it can be hard, but if you react calmly to their accusations, it gives them less of an excuse to yell back at you.

Please PM me if you need someone to talk to or if you just need to escape and not think about it for a while. I'm very lucky in that my parents are lovely people, but my boyfriend's family sounds a lot like yours, so I have some experience in the area. Hope it all works out for you .
   
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Re: Is there any hope for my family? - March 28th 2010, 09:57 PM

I think you all should have a calm nice heart to heart talk without any shouting or any arguments. You can't live like this, help each other out so that you may all live well. Really !! Hold a night together and just talk,just talk.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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