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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Ryansbabygrl Offline
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2 BFF problems!! - March 30th 2010, 01:49 AM

2 problems first:

Friday I told one of my best friends that me and my bf are engaged. She seemed to be happy for me, but today she started saying things like "He's only using you" and "You don't know what love is". Then she was trying to get me to cheat on him. I was just like I will never cheat on him or leave him just because you want me to. He's the most amazing guy I've ever met. I know he wouldn't do it either. She has never met him. If she doesn't stop she's going to end up losing me as a friend. Why is she doing this? How do I get her to stop? I thought she would be happy for me, but I guess not.

second:

The same friend is pretty much letting guys use her just to get attention. She dated this guy for like 3 months that was like 29. Knowing he was using her and cheating on her she stayed with him. When she first met him he told her that he would give her a ride to and from school, but only if she had sex with him whenever he asked. Which was at least 2 or 3 times a day. Now she's dating his brother and he's the exact same way. He's 21 and she just turned 16 a few months ago. Every morning before school she tells me in detail everything they did. She's already lost most of her friends because all she ever talks about is having sex with any guy who asks her. Before she started having sex with any guy that asked they didnt want anything to do with her. How do I get it through her head that guys only want to be around her is because they know she will have sex with them?
   
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Re: 2 BFF problems!! - March 30th 2010, 07:17 AM

well it sounds like she's jealous. Look how sucessful your life is. your engaged to a good guy and well she suck with lame ones. I think you should introduce her to him. Seeing you together might help her get her mind straight. Of course warn him of the situation just in case she says stupid things. It seems to me that she really just likes all the attention sex brings. I think you should sit down with her and find out just really why she is having sex with the guys. and try to show her how much happier she'd be in a solid relationship.


" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: 2 BFF problems!! - March 30th 2010, 08:14 AM

It could be a number of things. She might be fearing that she is going to lose you as a friend once you and your bf get married. She also might be jealous. It might be a combination or it might be something else completely. However the only way you can ever really know is if you talk to your friend. Let her know how her behavior is affecting you. It will be hard to do but in the end it might help things.

As for the issue with her sexual expenditures; the best thing I can say is that they are her mistakes to make and you have to let her. If it is bothering you then you need to let her know but in the end no matter what you cannot make her change. That is probably the hardest things about friendships. You will see your friends making mistakes and you can talk to them. You can tell them how you feel and how they deserve so much better but in the end you cannot change them.

Maybe you are going to have to tell her that you do not want to hear about her sexual activities. Tell her that you still want to be her friend but you do not want to hear about that. Set some limits in the relationship. If she is a true friend she will not leave instead she will understand with time.

I hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: 2 BFF problems!! - March 30th 2010, 08:42 PM

Well, it may be a number of reasons. It may also be she is just trying to help you. But it depends on how she is saying it, so you can know what to think.

The second problem is tricky because peer pressure looks to be very much involved. Just talking to her about how she is leading her life. And that she may be addicted to sex it seems. Just try and talking to her first, calmly and showing her that you care.

Oh and also(forgive me if i offend you) ; Given the age you are, i think you should just wait and not get married as you are just still too young.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; March 30th 2010 at 08:43 PM. Reason: addition
   
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Re: 2 BFF problems!! - March 30th 2010, 10:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacksonian View Post
Well, it may be a number of reasons. It may also be she is just trying to help you. But it depends on how she is saying it, so you can know what to think.

The second problem is tricky because peer pressure looks to be very much involved. Just talking to her about how she is leading her life. And that she may be addicted to sex it seems. Just try and talking to her first, calmly and showing her that you care.

Oh and also(forgive me if i offend you) ; Given the age you are, i think you should just wait and not get married as you are just still too young.
We're waiting til after college to get married. And my friend might be pregnant now.

Last edited by Ryansbabygrl; March 30th 2010 at 11:14 PM.
   
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