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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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brad71157 Offline
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My Family and me - April 7th 2010, 04:44 AM

Well this may take a while to read but heres my story.

I am a 17 year old guy that has a really awesome family but I just don't want to deal with their crap anymore. For the past 2 or 3 years my almost all of my family members (except me and my dad) have been using drugs and pills and everything and are constantly looking for a buzz or are high whenever you see them. I don't get physically abused or get abused in any way so I'm just saying that now. But everyday whenever I do something I always hear them talking about "Where can you get those pills off of." or "Do you know anyone who can get them for me." and it really makes me sick that I have had to live with people that are constantly doing drugs and pills and everything and I just want them to move and get out. Thats the whole outline of my story and the parts that really piss me off are later.

I make really good grades in school and I do it all by myself without anyone to help me and I've never been late to class and never done anything illegal or anything and I like a lot of people like to come home and relax in my room and watch some television and play some video games on my computer but my mom usually has some stuff for me to do. This is cool with me but my brother who is 25 and doesn't pay a dime to stay in the house gets to just sit on his butt all day and not do anything and eat all of the food in the house that my dad pays for with the money he gives my mom through child support for me. This really pisses me off since I work hard to have awesome grades and don't get any rewards or anything for doing something good like for instance I won 6th place in a 'state' competition for computer programming and I didn't get anything but when my brother wants some cigarettes off of my mom which he gets like 15 cigarettes off of her literally EVERYDAY he gets them without paying her a dime and if he needs a ride to go and get some more drugs my mom will take him to go get some but if I want a ride to go spend my money on something useful like McDonalds or something so I can have something to eat that day then she'll say "Nope!" and complain to me that she doesn't wanna go but if there were drugs involved she be ready in the car in a second! WTF!

And also whenever she has some extra money from the child support she uses it not to buy me some more pants which I desperately need but some more pills or some more cigarettes for her and practically my brother. And every time that I need something important for me like some pants or some clothes or food she'll always say "Ask your dad!" which really sickens me since she wastes all of the child support money on pills or drugs and she expects my dad always to pay for everything. And this is hurting my relationship with my dad because if I ask him for something he'll either not bother with me or tell me that he has no money since my mom gets money from him everyday but not through child support and again spends it on drugs.

My mom used to be really awesome several years ago but these drugs are just making her not the same person anymore and I really miss the good times that we've had together. I asked her to stop but she doesn't listen. I told everyone to quit doing drugs around me but they deny that their doing drugs and I'm not dumb I know what they do and so does my dad. I just want this all to stop so we can have a normal family. Theres much more to the story than just that but you guys can contact me if you want the rest of it.

I maybe act a little whiney about somethings but is there anything that I can do?

Does anyone know something that'll get me through this mess?

Any replies will be completely appreciated and thank you all for hearing my story even though it was a long one!
   
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Smile Re: My Family and me - April 7th 2010, 03:22 PM

Hey Brad,
It sounds like you are going threw a really hard time right now. I am very sorry and i know it must be hard. I'm here for you. If you want to talk about it, or just to talk, i am here for you. Feel free to PM me! Good Luck!

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Re: My Family and me - April 7th 2010, 09:11 PM

Oh Brad, that's definitely tough! When I was growing up, my mom was an alcoholic and she did drugs, and that's only one person, so can't even imagine how rough that is for you.

As much as you've heard it, the only way you can help them is if they first admit that doing drugs is a problem. You can't solve a problem that doesn't "exist".

Next, heavy drug usage almost always requires professional help. Call a professional or take them to a clinic. If you can't, find someone who can, for example your father.

I know it's tough for you, I really to understand, but you need to be there for them as well, during this process. Ask your father to work with you, so you don't feel alone. I'm sure together, you guys can do it!

So good luck, I really do wish you- and your family!- well.
Take care, Brad!
Kristen



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Re: My Family and me - April 8th 2010, 05:03 AM

Hello, Brad. First and foremost, welcome to TeenHelp! =D I am so glad that you decided to visit this forum and ask us for support. No one should have to go through this alone.

I can empathize with you, to a certain degree: my mom took every penny of my child support. Instead of getting a full-time job (she was a teacher, so all she had to do was volunteer for more hours), she settled for 10 hrs/wk and used the $800 my dad sent every month to pay the bills. That money could have gone toward my college fund, or toward clothing, or toward plane tickets so that I could visit my grandparents every now and then. I was so, SO angry with my mother during the five years that I lived with her.

Unfortunately, your options are fairly limited. You could try calling CPS (Child Protective Services), and asking them for assistance. You could argue that your mother is neglecting you, by failing to provide you with basic things such as food and clothing with the money that she is receiving from your father. With their help, you could speak to a judge, and ask that the previous ruling be reversed, allowing you to live with your father instead of your mother.

Chances are, the police won't do anything... but you could report your mother and brother for drug abuse. If they are found guilty, they could be fined, receive some jail time, or be forced to enter a drug rehab program. In the meantime, you could speak to a judge, and argue that it would be in your best interests to live with your father.

If you end up living with your father, then he won't have to pay child support to your mother... which will help solve one of your problems. =) As for your mother's and brother's drug abuse problems, I don't believe you'll be able to do much about it on your own... they'll need to admit that they have a problem, and seek professional help for their addictions.






   
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