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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question adive please :( - April 8th 2010, 09:59 PM

Im really confused. I suffered with anorexia and bulimia
When i was ill there's a lot of things i didn't notice. I fell out with one of my best friends for no reason and i never knew why. I've now realised it was because she cared too much and i couldn't handle that guilt. I was fine hurting myself but she was the only person who cared and i could see i was upsetting her literally drawing her to tears most days and i couldnt cope with that i decided to fall out with her and make up some stupid reason. Afterwards all my friends (who didnt care) also fell out with her and everyone was really bitchy and left her out. I convinced myself she had done a ton of things wrong to make myself feel better, now i realise she was the best friend i ever had and all she did was care about me. This was a few years ago and we were only 14. Now i'm 17 and i feel really guilty. I literally can't sleep because i feel so bad about what i did, i know she probably doesn't care anymore but i can't get rid of the feeling. I don't know whether or not to talk to her but i'm still very embarassed about the subject, i don't know what i would say and i'm scared she would reject it and laugh about it with her friends. How can i make things better, i know it sounds really trivial but it's driving me crazy.
   
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Re: adive please :( - April 9th 2010, 02:48 AM

Hey there,

I'm going to go ahead and move this to Friends and Family, as I think you'll get more replies there. Anyone objects, let me know.


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Re: adive please :( - April 9th 2010, 04:47 AM

Hey there! First of all, welcome to TeenHelp. =) I am so glad that you decided to join this site for support and advice.

Are you familiar with the twelve step program for alcoholics? Well, one of those steps is to make amends to the people that you have hurt in the past, when you were "ill". Not only will it help you gain closure, but it may help your friend gain closure as well (especially if she never really understood or accepted your reason for not wanting to be friends anymore).

My advice would be to simply walk up to her and ask if you could speak to her for a few minutes. Don't tell her why until she's agreed to speak with you, and the two of you are alone. Then, just tell her what you told us. Tell her that you weren't completely honest about the reason why you didn't want to be friends anymore. Tell her that you were scared, and hurting, and that you didn't want to cause her any further pain. Ask her for forgiveness, but don't try to push the issue of being friends again right away. Remember, your goal is simply to make amends, not the force her into giving you a second chance. If she's willing to do so, then great! =D Otherwise, just take comfort in the knowledge that you did everything you could to make amends to your friend. Whether or not she chooses to accept your apology is HER problem, not yours.

I wish you the very best of luck, and feel free to PM me anytime if you'd like to talk. Take care!






   
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Re: adive please :( - April 9th 2010, 04:55 AM

Aww, well, your bff should be able to forgive you, its been three years. Now, you guys are older, and should continue growing as friends Being uncomfortable about the subject is understandable. But you gotta try to step up, and let her know how you feel. It will all be okay PM me if you need. If you don't see me around, you can add me on MSN: cozetta12@live.com or AOL/AIM: username-mirandacozetta



   
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Re: adive please :( - April 9th 2010, 08:46 PM

I am guessing you still see her everyday? You should go up to her, and just say you want to talk to her! She may have forgotten about the whole thing, you might surprise yourself! But thing is, it was so long ago, you and her should just try and put this behind you, you've realised your mistake, and thats all that matters! Good Luck!
   
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