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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Teylar Offline
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Exclamation I don't know what I'm supposed to do! - April 9th 2010, 08:08 AM

My dad moved up north awhile ago, because yet again he got a new job. We've been moving all over Canada following him for various reasons my whole life. Well, in less than a month I'll be 17, and if things go as my dad hopes, we'll all be living together be then. We really can't afford to live here on the money that my parents were making before, and that's why my dad needs the job.

My mom was talking to me tonight, and she saw how upset I was about moving, and she kept saying stuff about divorcing my dad, even though they're so in love and stuff. I don't know what she's thinking, like that I want them broken up or something!

And I also told her that I wanted to graduate with people I went to school with... the town I'm living in now I've only been in since the start of the school year, and haven't been doing so well in. The only thing that would keep me HERE is the guy I'm kind-of seeing. But I brought up living with my best friend while they live up north, (my best friend lives in the town I lived in before I moved to the current town, and that's where most of my friends are at) and she broke down. She's really clingy and overprotective, and I'm the oldest so she went nuts and started crying.

I'm so stressed right now... I can't think straight.


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Re: I don't know what I'm supposed to do! - April 9th 2010, 08:59 PM

*hugs* I'm sorry that you're so stressed out right now. =( If you ever want to talk, you're more than welcomed to PM me.

It kind of sounds like your mom is so clingy and overprotective of you, because your dad hasn't always "been there" for the family. Sure, he's taking care of your financial needs, by doing whatever it takes to get the best possible job... but at what cost? I'm not saying that your dad is a bad husband and father to your family... but something is definitely lost, when a child can't physically be with both of their parents, and when a mother has to take on all the burdens of disciplining and caring for her children.

Divorces aren't to be taken lightly, so I doubt your mom will break things off with your dad JUST BECAUSE you're not happy about having to move again. In the event that something does happen, PLEASE don't blame yourself. Children are never responsible for their parents' marital problems (although they often believe that they are).

What timeframe are we looking at, if you were to stay down here, separated from your family? A few months, so that you could finish the current school year? Or longer, if you aren't graduating until next year? Also, when do you become a legal adult in Canada? 18, or 19? If you're only going to be with your friend for a few months, or if you're going to become a legal adult soon, then I don't think it's a bad idea to maintain as much stability as you can, and to stay where you are now. If you're looking at another 1-2 years, though, it would probably be best to continue living with your mom and other family members, even if it means changing schools and starting over by making new friends.






   
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