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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Shattered Angel Offline
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Unhappy No Family to Turn to... - April 11th 2010, 05:37 AM

My immediate family is so screwed up. I'm not a typical 16 year old guy, and I have a lot of different insights into things. For example, I believe I should release my anger as few times as possible. This, however ends up bottling my feelings. I've become something like a monster in my mind. I've become so angry. I live in a small town and have no true best friend. I wish I could talk to my family, but they don't care.

My sister is surprisingly the least of my worries. She's terribly annoying, but she is only 9. I can easily forgive her. The problem though, is that she beccomes a trigger to the arguments with my brother and dad.

My brother is usually nice and well, except in public. He puts up a bravado, even though both him and I are against the idea. he acts macho and idiotic, as if to compensate for who he really is. When he becomes like this, he disregards me almost completely, and I become very frustrated. Throughout the years I've tried to compliment him in every one of his qualities, but he continued insulting me to the point where I broke. I've now become negative and explosive towards him, but he's chosen to play innocent.

My father believes he's trying his best. Sure, I'm lucky with a home and nice toys and good food, but I rarely recieve support from him, and we never talk about personal things. He continues to harass me for my faults. Just moments ago he criticized me for not using a box that he took from the garbage can! He wants me to get a job, even though trying to keep my high A's is hard enough. I would like to help him around the house if he were to ask a bit more kindly, but he just calls me lazy. Every time after I break down, he finally makes promises to help me and spend more time with me, but so far they're all empty. I wish I had that father-son relationship, but it's not and will likely never be there.

It's becoming difficult. I've become even more antisocial than usual. I'm constantly opposed in my ideas. I've tried to compliment myself to raise my self-esteem, but without that reassurance from my family, it continues to drop. If I'm negative towards myself, they leave me be, but if I'm positive, they put me down! I know I'm complaining a lot, and I know there's plenty of things wrong with me, but I really need a bit of support in my life, and my bridge is ready to crumble. Can someone help me figure out how to fix this?
   
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Re: No Family to Turn to... - April 11th 2010, 06:48 PM

Hey, Lino! Have you considered talking to a psychological professional about how you're feeling right now? There are people who specialize in family therapy, and they may be able to offer you insight and coping strategies for dealing with your brother and dad. If you find that helpful, you may even be able to convince your brother and/or dad to join you for a few sessions.

Hang in there, and feel free to PM me anytime if you'd like to talk. I don't have any siblings, but I know what it feels like to miss the father-child connection.






   
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Re: No Family to Turn to... - April 12th 2010, 05:48 AM

Thanks for the advice. I did once think about turning to a councellor (the only form of services available in this town) but I was afraid to make a commitment. It looks, though, that I may be forced to turn to one in order to keep this family from falling apart.
   
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Smile Re: No Family to Turn to... - April 15th 2010, 10:45 PM

Hey Lino,
I'm Sorry. I know sometimes things sound really hard and that nothing will ever work out. Things will get better. If you need a way to try letting out your feelings try writing them down and burning or ripping the page. Sometimes you need things that can release your anger so you don't feel like your bottling them up. I know i have bottled up my feelings and sometimes all that does is make things worse. Do you have anyone you can really trust and talk to? Please let me know. I want to help. Please PM me!

angel22
   
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