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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
FraInnen Offline
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Unhappy My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 12th 2010, 12:02 AM

I'm a teenage female and when I'm at home I always wear shorts and some time ago my father used to stare at my legs, mainly at my thighs but nowadays he doesn't do that anymore.
My parents are still together and I have a 5 year old sister.
I have noticed when I lean over to pick something on the floor he stares at my butt.He stares at my breasts too but only a few times.When I'm talking to him he stares at my mouth the entire conversation.Once when I was talking to him I was wearing a baggy t-shirt, I bent and he could see my bare breasts because the t-shirt was really baggy and I was not wearing a bra but I had not realized that he was getting to see my breast, when I looked at his face and saw that he was really looking at my breasts he looked at my face and laughed at me.I'm ugly,so I really don't know why my dad would be staring at me.
I spent last christmas at home with my family only and I was wearing a short and tight dress and when he saw me wearing that dress he got nervous as if he was embarassed with my presence just because of the type of dress that I was wearing.Once when I was 15 years old and me and my dad were walking in the street he said that I had reached a good age to hang out with him,only me and him.I don't know what he meant by that,I don't understand.
When I reached age of 8 my father forbade me from sitting on his lap,he said that it was inappropriate and I have never sat on his lap since then.
I wear revealing clothes inside my house but I don't wear revealing clothes outside my house and I would never do it.I just don't feel comfortable doing it.I think that no girl should be worried about what types of chlothes she should wear around her father because it's her father and not a stranger,so I don't intend to change the type of clothes that I usually wear around my father.A father is not supposed have sexual thoghts about his daughter even if she's wearing revealing clothes.
I spend most of my time inside my house with my family because I hate going out.
I want to make clear that recently my dad has developed an habit of looking at my butt everytime I bent and in the begining it didn't bother me but now it bothers me a lot and I wish he would stop doing this.I don't know if he's really attracted to me or if I'm just paranoid.It really doesn't seem that he's attracted to me,he really doesn't act as if he is.Help me because I don't know what to think about tis situation at all.I will not tell anything to my mother because it would spoil everybody's relationship in my family.
I'm not sure if my dad is sexually attracted to me because even with all those looks that he gives me he doesn't seem to be attracted to me at all and he doesn't give me those looks all the time he just gives me those looks some times.My dad is a shy person and I know that he would never do anything harmful to me.He really loves and cares about his family.He has always been a good hardworking man.He is even a bit religious.He is not the type of man who is always horny or who is a perv.I have never seen him looking at any teenage girl or at any woman in the streets or wherever he goes.I'm So Confused!!!!
Could my father be sexually attracted to me?I don't know if I'm just paranoid!!!!
   
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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 12th 2010, 02:42 AM

I think you are placing a lot of emphasis on the fact that your father is your father, and not enough emphasis on the fact that your father is a man. Nearly EVERY straight man, married or not, father or not, religious or not, will become aroused at the sight of a woman's body.

It may be worth "covering up", when you're at home. Whether it's wearing a bra under your shirts, or wearing shirts that won't open up when you bend over, or wearing pants instead of shorts, it'll resist your father's temptation to take a look. A lot of what he's doing seems to be automatic (part of being a man), and his embarrassment suggests that he doesn't MEAN to look (it's kind of hard to ignore a woman in a short, tight dress). Taking a few simple steps will go a long way for you.

The next time you catch him staring at your butt when you bend over, turn around, look at him, and say "Quit staring at my butt!" in a joking manner. By doing so, you're letting him know that you're aware of his inappropriate behavior, and hopefully, he'll make a greater attempt to avoid looking at you in the future.


   
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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 12th 2010, 05:36 AM

Something doesn't add up to me. You believe your father is staring at your butt and breasts, which is obviously easier when wearing less clothes or tighter clothes. So instead of covering up, you continue with the attire but you don't do the same attire outside. If you wear something revealing and tight in a certain area of your body, it draws attention to those parts but you complain when you think you may indeed be the receiver of such attention when the only receivers possible in the house are your father and mother. It doesn't make sense to me why you'd continue even if you suspected this of your father.

The obvious answer is cover up and if you think it's continuing, then call him out on it. But if you wear skimpy, revealing, tight clothes and you get him staring, it's both your faults: him for staring, you for wearing when you had earlier suspicions.
   
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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 12th 2010, 06:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by !!!YOU'RE$NUCKING$FUTZ!!! View Post
Something doesn't add up to me. You believe your father is staring at your butt and breasts, which is obviously easier when wearing less clothes or tighter clothes. So instead of covering up, you continue with the attire but you don't do the same attire outside. If you wear something revealing and tight in a certain area of your body, it draws attention to those parts but you complain when you think you may indeed be the receiver of such attention when the only receivers possible in the house are your father and mother. It doesn't make sense to me why you'd continue even if you suspected this of your father.

The obvious answer is cover up and if you think it's continuing, then call him out on it. But if you wear skimpy, revealing, tight clothes and you get him staring, it's both your faults: him for staring, you for wearing when you had earlier suspicions.
Psy's and this info is quite accurate.


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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 12th 2010, 06:51 AM

I agree with what YNF said about the skimpy clothing, but, still what he is doing is not appropriate. Next time you see him staring, just innocently look to where he is staring and say "what are you staring at?" If he just replies "nothing" or whatever, just say okay, and walk off. Doing this will let him know that you are aware of him staring. If he does it again, say "why do you always stare at me i have noticed this really often" If he still says nothing or something, leave it until he does it the next time. You can either ask him and say "Okay I just saw you staring again, I need to talk to you about this im getting quite scared" (...or another word you want to use) You then may need to talk to another member of the family, or even some sort of helpline maybe.


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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 12th 2010, 08:49 AM

Is it possible that you are misunderstanding your dad's actions? For example, he might be staring at you because he disapproves of your skimpy clothes or because he is surprised by them. I know that I have a tendency to stare at girls on the street who wear very little because I'm just thinking "why on earth do you think that's attractive?". Also, you say that he stares at your mouth when you talk, but I don't think that is strange at all. I prefer to look at people's eyes when I talk to them, but a lot of people find that intimidating and will look at mouths instead.

To me, it seems like you have picked some isolated events and might be reading too much into them. I'm not quite sure why you are saying that you don't think your dad is attracted to you, but then asking us if we think he is.

All that being said, if you feel uncomfortable, you should tell your dad. I like the other ideas about calling him out on his behaviour. And if he ever does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable (that is more than just staring), you need to tell someone. Whether it is a teacher or your grandmother or another adult that you trust.



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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 12th 2010, 05:42 PM

He's a man. Put a pair of breasts in front of him, or a woman with tight clothing, he will go crazy lol.
It seems like you don't care. You purposely wear revealing clothes, and expect him to not look. He's a man, so you have to give some consideration. Just don't wear as revealing clothing, and tell him not to look if you do.
   
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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 12th 2010, 07:12 PM

I don't think you can really say 'oh he's a man, that's how men react.' Normally, men are NOT turned on by seeing there daughter in skimpy clothing. Because she is his daughter. In our society dad's generally see their daughter as a little girl even when she is grown up.

I'm also confused about the skimpy clothing. Why would you buy a short, tight dress if you were only going to wear it at home and not outside. When I am at home I tend to wear clothing that is comfortable and that doesn't sound comfortable. I know you say you shouldn't have to change what you wear, but he hasn't actually done much, if you are uncomfortable then you should cover up or move out. Unless he does something like touch you in a sexual why, try to kiss you, say obviously inappropriate things to you then there's not much else you can do.
   
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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 14th 2010, 12:19 PM

golly, here's a solution: wear more clothes


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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 15th 2010, 11:07 PM

I agree with rhapsody. Also, you are unwilling to change your clothes, which makes it seem like you may be enjoying the attention. I would think you'd want to be more comfortable at home & wear more comfortable clothing.


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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 16th 2010, 12:29 AM

Erm do you any of you girls who have said "just wear more clothes" actually have dad's or not? It seriously sounds like none of you do. I wear revealing clothes all the time. I walk around in my underwear. My dad sees me in skimpy clothes before I go out on a night out ALL the time. He gives me a "you're not bloody going out in that" look. He doesn't turn away and get all embarrassed nor does he look at inappropriate parts of my body. I have never felt uncomfortable in my Dad's presence, or that he might be checking me out. Do any of you have siblings of the opposite gender? Do you ever check them out? What about your opposite gender parent? Just because they're the opposite sex doesn't mean you're automatically going to check them out.

I would say that most girls can tell when she's being checked out. I know when I'm talking to a guy and his eyes dart to my chest and back and to my chest again that he's probably turned on by my chest. I have never felt that way about my Dad and I would say if you did feel like your dad is checking you out, that's pretty gross. I would definitely go with someone else's suggested approach that if you catch him looking at your butt just say something like "what? is my butt really fat or something?" just so he knows you know he's looking but neither of you have to feel all that embarrassed. It's tough to tackle a situation like this when you don't really know what's going through his mind..just be subtle. And I would say that if the way your Dad looks at you makes you feel uncomfortable than yeah you probably should wear revealing clothes but that's not going to be the only solution.
   
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Re: My Father Is Phisically Attracted To Me And I Need Help - April 16th 2010, 08:53 PM

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Originally Posted by don'tstopbelievin View Post
Erm do you any of you girls who have said "just wear more clothes" actually have dad's or not? It seriously sounds like none of you do. I wear revealing clothes all the time. I walk around in my underwear. My dad sees me in skimpy clothes before I go out on a night out ALL the time. He gives me a "you're not bloody going out in that" look. He doesn't turn away and get all embarrassed nor does he look at inappropriate parts of my body. I have never felt uncomfortable in my Dad's presence, or that he might be checking me out. Do any of you have siblings of the opposite gender? Do you ever check them out? What about your opposite gender parent? Just because they're the opposite sex doesn't mean you're automatically going to check them out.

I would say that most girls can tell when she's being checked out. I know when I'm talking to a guy and his eyes dart to my chest and back and to my chest again that he's probably turned on by my chest. I have never felt that way about my Dad and I would say if you did feel like your dad is checking you out, that's pretty gross. I would definitely go with someone else's suggested approach that if you catch him looking at your butt just say something like "what? is my butt really fat or something?" just so he knows you know he's looking but neither of you have to feel all that embarrassed. It's tough to tackle a situation like this when you don't really know what's going through his mind..just be subtle. And I would say that if the way your Dad looks at you makes you feel uncomfortable than yeah you probably should wear revealing clothes but that's not going to be the only solution.
I agree actually, but it doesn't change the fact that wearing less revealing clothes would help.
   
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