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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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heavenlyblissx Offline
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Girl constantly taking my "friends" :( - April 13th 2010, 08:18 PM

Hi, this is going to be quite long so please bare with me!

I've known this girl since I was in nursery (let's call her "I"). We go to seperate schools now, but we are in the same chinese class (takes place every saturday). Four years ago, I befriended this other girl in my english (or "week day") school (let's call her K) and so I introduced her to my chinese class as well since we were such "good friends". Then things started to go down hill... I fell out with K and then we kinda stopped talking in chinese school and week school. She then started getting really friendly with "I" and now, pictures of them together are constantly put up on facebook! It hurts to see that a close friend of yours is just taken away! And I know I have no rights to tell ppl who to be friends with and still... The WORSE part is that I don't only have to share the same group of friends as K in chinese class, but ALSO in week school!!

It's depressing cause I know she's better at making friends than I do. She buys ppl stuff (cause her family owns a take-away and she's the only child in her family) and she always find good things to talk about in a group of friends where I'm almost the opposite! I'm shy, so I already find making friends as hard as it is!

What REALLY annoys me the most about K right now is that she is stealing my sister's (whose only a year younger than me) friends (in chinese class, cause we're a combined class) as well! So she is not only upsetting me but my sister as well!! I also hate the fact how she acts all nice to everybody and so nobody really knows how she really is other than me becuase she VICTIMIZES me!

Here are the advices I've already taken into consideration but sadly doesn't help in my situation
- I've been told to make other friends, but I'm in my fourth year in high school (11th grade in the US) and it is REALLY hard to find a new group of friends because everybody has already settled in
-I;ve been told to talk about it with my other friends, but sadly all of them are friends with K as well so sooner or later it'll get relayed to her.
-Talking to K is definitely not an option as she is not the kind to listen and will deny any wrong that other people claim she is doing

Also, I really want to be friends with "I" again, but because we've been drifting apart for soo long, it's awkward to just go upto her and talk about what happened between us...And even if I do, she always managed to change the topic...

I'm having my exams soon and this is not helping me at all...I can't concentrate on my studies and I know it's really bad!!

Can somebody please give me some more advice on what to do (apart from ones already listed on the top). It's really getting me down

Thank you for reading and I appreciate any help
   
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: Girl constantly taking my "friends" :( - April 16th 2010, 02:10 AM

Well, I can see your dilemma. So I would say first focus on the exam not on this issue as much. And when you see your friends why not ask them to hang out, those who you are still friends with. Just because they are K's friends doesn't mean they never were your friends. So go and ask one to hang out.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Girl constantly taking my "friends" :( - April 18th 2010, 08:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacksonian View Post
Well, I can see your dilemma. So I would say first focus on the exam not on this issue as much. And when you see your friends why not ask them to hang out, those who you are still friends with. Just because they are K's friends doesn't mean they never were your friends. So go and ask one to hang out.
Wow...I guess my head has been thinking so much about it along with my exams, I've never really thought of doing that before. Thanks
   
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Re: Girl constantly taking my "friends" :( - April 18th 2010, 11:55 PM

I think you are overreacting by saying she's stealing your friends away. She is only befriending people that you know, she has a right to make friends too.
Try talking to I one day, just pull her aside for a moment and ask her if you two are still friends, if she can hang out with you and go to the mall or something sometime. Maybe try socializing with K and she won't seem as bad as you think, maybe she would like to be friends with you too.
   
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