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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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VoodooGirl Offline
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Friends who only cause hurt, what do I do? - April 16th 2010, 04:13 AM

I've been having problems with my two "best friends" for a long time now, all of my posts are basically about them or cutting and only some other stuff.

Mostly it's the fact that I feel left out, and my other friend who hangs out with us too sees it as well. It's just slowly escalating, except now they try and act like they're not doing it when before they would say shit that made me feel left out.

They hang out everyday and never invite me, I find out because I see all their pictures and wall posts on my news feeds. They even hung out together on my birthday. Then they act totally clueless as to why we seem to be "drifting".

Like, one girl was like "I miss her not being in our pictures" UHM maybe because you take all those pictures at your house and never invite me, and it wasn't like she then came up to me and invited me over, she asked my other "best friend" to bring a camera to school so we could take a picture. So what? I'm only their school best friend, their friend for show? I feel completely alienated and I hate it. I'm just glad this isn't driving me to cut like it used to do. I just tell myself their not worth my pain.

But what do I do? It's not like they're my only friends, but it seems impossible to put them out of my life, even though having them there always seems to cause me hurt. Plus, I'd miss them, one of them has been my best friend for like seven years now and she's just leaving me in the dust for the one we've only known for a year, and even her I'd hate to lose. I'm not sure if I hated it more when they were pointing out that I wasn't loved nearly as much as they loved each other, atleast then they were being honest.

What the heck am I supposed to do? And if the answer is to stop being their friend or talk to them how do I do that or what do I say?

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Re: Friends who only cause hurt, what do I do? - April 16th 2010, 06:12 AM

i think you know the answer. you just dont know how to do it. i know how hard it is to try to walk away from someone that you've grown up with. and this is how you distance yourself from them. you do it slowly. one step at a time. and you give your mind reason. you can give your mind reason by finding new best friends. that treat you better. and as you slowly drift away from them. and hang out with the new bestfriends more and more. you will start to find more reasons to stop being friends with them. this will be hard. but if you do this, in the future your mind will finally find peace.

" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: Friends who only cause hurt, what do I do? - April 19th 2010, 02:54 AM

I know exactly how you feel because I was in the exact situation. I ended up suppressing my feelings for a while, and even though people would tell me that they didn't treat me right, I kept on going with them until it ultimately fell apart the hard way, and they had the last word. I learned that people aren't always what they seem and even though you can miss the past, people change, and you can't hold on and hope that they will return to the person that they were. Trust me when I say that you should just distance yourself from these girls, because this will give you the opportunity (if you choose), to re-evaluate these friendships later. I should have distanced myself from these girls when I had the chance, because they dropped me flat on my ass and now I can never fix it. At least if you distance yourself, you can give everyone some room to grow up and test out some new waters with different people, and in time, if you want to, you can call these girls up and say "how have you been?" and start from there.

Hope this helps, stay strong. It'll be okay in the end.
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