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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Algernon Offline
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Question Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 16th 2010, 10:36 PM

I'm starting school in the 29th, and I've just felt like I've had some problems with socializing. I've noticed at the school I'm currently at that the group I talk with the most has kind of... Stopped being as social? I feel almost ignored. It might be my seating but, I have a little feeling It might not be. I want to make sure that I make friends and become comfortable at school. I don't really know how to do that, what are some tips? Can you guys help me out here?


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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 17th 2010, 12:55 AM

Just be yourself Holly, I was terrified when I went to a new school, but I was just myself and had fun, and met so many people that I will never forget. Don't worry about it too much, or you will withdraw yourself from everything.



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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 17th 2010, 01:12 AM

A good way to enter a conversation is to listen to their conversation, then as you here something you can say something about (even if it's silly (unless it's a serious conversation), I find funny things work well) and then you'll of entered the conversation.

Avoid drinks with caffeine in, they could make you anxious D=
   
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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 17th 2010, 01:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by .Brittany. View Post
Just be yourself Holly, I was terrified when I went to a new school, but I was just myself and had fun, and met so many people that I will never forget. Don't worry about it too much, or you will withdraw yourself from everything.
I find that when I'm myself people hate me or love me. I wish that there was a middle ground. I have a pretty unique personality and way of talking to people. Sometimes I feel like being funny goes too far...

It's also possible that I just think people don't like me.


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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 17th 2010, 06:53 AM

there is a lot of people that either love or hate someone.


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i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 17th 2010, 12:55 PM

I have the exact same problem as you. People irl either love me or find me strange. Give honest compliments, if you like a person's bag/haircut tell them and try and talk about that. Talk about something you can both relate to (homework, the weather, the teachers etc.) I smoke (well, currently quitting) so I used to ask people if they'd lend me a lighter sometimes and kind of talk from there.

Something I've learned is that people honestly like talking about themselves. Ask them something about themselves (like the hairstyle/bag compliment I mentioned earlier) Listening is a great skill. Also, try and remember people's names. I've also learned if I call people by their names they love it.

Good luck, Holly


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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 18th 2010, 12:25 AM

Best tip is don't worry. If you begin worrying, people notice and to them they see a random girl very anxious and up-tight who is withdrawing from others in a context where it probably isn't currently common, so they'd prefer to steer clear. I'd probably do the same as them, if someone is very uptight, withdrawing, on edge and anxious, I'd be less willing to interact with you. Some may not be affected by this but may not like you in general. That's life, you cant please everyone.

An easy way that tends to work with most people is, providing you're not uptight and such, during a break or after the class, ask them what they thought of it, what other courses/program they're in and so forth. Unless they've had a shit day or hate you, they'll act in a way that says fuck off but otherwise, they'll be receptive. You may not get to hang out with them right away but you can perhaps study with them and through that or other means, get a friend or two.
   
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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 18th 2010, 02:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by emoticon View Post
there is a lot of people that either love or hate someone.
And...... ?


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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 21st 2010, 02:37 AM

I'm in the same boat as you. People either fall madly in love with me, or they can't wait to wipe me off the face of the earth.

What I usually do when I'm trying to make new friends is toe the line, as it were. Don't be a total loner, but don't try to be the life of the party either. Just don't be all huge and loud and stuff. Once you get to know them better, go ahead and be 'more' of yourself. By then, people should be more used to who you are and will just take any weird things you do in stride.
   
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Re: Becoming Friends With New People, Help - April 23rd 2010, 01:57 AM

Well, how do you talk to people or how do you treat them. And what exactly do you mean by unique personality ?


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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