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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
inalittlewhile Offline
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Friend Troubles - April 17th 2010, 11:24 PM

Hi everyone, first off, I'm new here. I have a small (or at least people always tell me it is small) problem. You see, four months ago (exactly from tomorrow... 123 days from tomorrow to be precise) I had a huge huge fight with my friends.. I mean the story is long but I'll just give you a nice overview.

I met this girl, we'll name her M, a while back, and we were pretty good friends, but she had her own group of friends and didn't have much time for me. She hung out with 3 other girls, L, T, and C. Now okay, I had a class with L, and I quite frankly didn't like her. We ate lunch together because I didn't have anybody else (and I knew some of her mutual friends) but I just found her annoying. Later on we stopped talking because the semester changed, but I kept in touch with M, and she wanted me to hang out with her friends, which was something I always wanted. I had a very good friend, we'll call her W, but she had her own best friend, and I really really wanted my own best friend. W and I were very close, but I was always put under H, who was her best best friend. Anyway so I started hanging out with M's group of friends and I loved it... I even started to tolerate L, and we eventually became the best of friends. I would put her above everything, and it was nice, for a while. She was my best friend and everyone knew it and I love love loved it. Anyway so we eventually started fighting, over two things mainly. I grew apart (a little, anyway) from W, who I knew the longest, while I was spending all of my time with L. Eventually me and my new group of friends (M, T, C, L, and a few other people) made a bad decision and prank called E, which made W a little mad, and then I lied about it and made it worse.. so we didn't talk for a month. During that time L and I got even closer.. and E came into the picture. E was very close with C in the beginning, but she was creeping up on L too, and I was very very protective. (which I realize now was very dumb) L and I fought constantly, over E, W, and this "club" that M, T,C and L had that I couldn't be in. (mind you, we're 17.. ) and although that sounds silly, it killed me inside because I just wanted to be one of the gang and fit it. They would have a day that they called "club day" and only the people in the club could come... (yes we're still 17) and it absolutely killed me.. they made a message for only them to be able to talk on facebook, meanwhile I hung out with them all EVERYDAY for 6 months straight. So I found out that M was talking about me in school one day and I was furious. (this was the 16th of December) I fought with her all day via text and I decided that I was done with her.. this wasn't the first time I caught her talking about me and I was just done. Then that same day, they have club day. Me, I'm heartbroken because everyone chooses her over me... anyway. L and I have a big fight and I tell her how much the club hurts me and she's like what do you want me to do about it.. mind you we didn't have a very good relationship before this. She would never call me unless she needed me to do her hw for her, I always bought her stuff and she would never pay me back (but she would pay everyone else back) and she broke my heart by telling me that I actually wasn't her best friend and that we were all equal, even though a few weeks before I was over everyone else. So anyway we have a huge fight and I think everything is going to be okay but it isn't. E sends me a really nasty message and it kills me and it says specifically that "nobody wants to be your friend anymore" so I block everyone because I don't want to see them anymore, when I shouldn't have done that. I misunderstood because a few days later, T texts my sister and tells her that she isn't mad at me and stuff.. so when T asks me for some stuff back, I am so polite, but she gives me an attitude, and I have my number changed.

Since then, lots of stuff has happened. W and I are inseparable, E is out of the picture, and somebody (not me!) is writing really rude stuff on L, M, T, C and E's formsprings, and they all think that it is me. I have been haunted for the last 122 days and I kind of miss them.. or at least I miss T. I know that we wouldn't have stayed friends anyway, or good friends, since she is part of the club and her other friends wouldn't have wanted her too.. but it just sucks. I used to go out everyday and now I don't really go out unless its with W but she has her boyfriend so its hard. I have dreams all the time about them and I just want it to stop... I really don't know what to do. I am so sad sometimes that I just sit and cry for hours, and I can't stop. I have a constant lonely feeling and the idea of "talking to them" is out of the question. They showed me a good time, and it was my first group of friends.. I mean yes, they did treat me like crap, and they did dump me (I tried to make up with L and she COMPLETELY DISREGARDED IT) but anyway I just don't know anymore.. its been 4 months and I still am not over them but I should be. My parents hated them from the start, and think that they were "abusive" to me.. I don't know.

I know that a lot of people on here have more serious problems that need help, but if I could get some support/advice, that'd be greatly appreciated.
   
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Smile Re: Friend Troubles - April 18th 2010, 01:22 AM

Hey,
I read the problem here and i know it must be hard. To want your friends back after you thought they were close is normal. I have had a friend do the same to be. it is betraying and rude. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting them back. I have felt the same way at times. It looks to me you need some really good friends who would stick with you threw everything, bad or good. Its okay to want your friends back but for now, i would just try to be friends with anyone else you can be friend. Of course they should be nice, kind, respectful and naything else you look for in a friend. That is what i would suggest you to do. Also keep in mind that i would love to be your friend here on TH. Welcome to the site! If you PM me i can tell you the bacics and such. I hope you have a wonderful day, if you ever, ever, ever need someone to talk to or want to talk to me more about this and what happened please PM me. I won't judge and would love to listen. Hang in there girl, it will get better. Have a great day!

angel22


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Re: Friend Troubles - April 19th 2010, 01:32 AM

Thanks for the support, your message brightened my day.
   
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Re: Friend Troubles - April 19th 2010, 01:51 AM

No Problem!


Formerly jelli1224

Trusting is not a mistake, but it is important to realize that things change. ~ Kmn483<3Bliz

Please feel free to PM me. I love to help others, and can be an ear to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or a face to scream at. <3

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Re: Friend Troubles - April 21st 2010, 10:16 PM

Hello there. In addition to what was said here is my input : accept what happened and move on. Your dreams show you are still constantly thinking about them. So just accept that they are them and together and go on with your life.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Friend Troubles - April 23rd 2010, 03:14 AM

Easier said than done. I have been trying to "move on" for months now, it just doesn't happen. I don't physically know how.
   
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Re: Friend Troubles - April 24th 2010, 11:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by inalittlewhile View Post
Easier said than done. I have been trying to "move on" for months now, it just doesn't happen. I don't physically know how.
Very correct. But if you truly have been trying you would have moved on. Have you been trying with your heart or is that somewhere inside you are still clinging to them and not to move on.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Friend Troubles - April 25th 2010, 04:39 PM

I've been getting better and better as they make my life more horrible, if that makes sense. Everytime something happens, I let a little part of them go. I still haven't deleted the pictures of us off of my computer, because I'm hoping that one day I will be able to revisit them and laugh. I still think about it constantly, which is my fault, but I can't stop. I don't know how.

But just the other day I finally shredded these notes that they gave me that I didn't have the heart to shred before.

I've definitely gotten better, I used to be pathetic and now I am starting to become stronger, I just want to speed up the process and leave them in the past, where they belong.
   
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Re: Friend Troubles - April 27th 2010, 04:59 AM

How about putting the photos on a USB flash drive, putting it in storage, and then deleting the photos off of your computer? That way, you'll have them years from now, if you ever want to look back and remember the good times... but you don't have to worry about whether or not to keep them on your computer today. =)

And I know what you mean, about how it becomes a bit easier to let go every time your friends are cruel. Hang in there, and feel free to PM me anytime. <3





   
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Re: Friend Troubles - April 28th 2010, 10:23 PM

I think I am going to do that - at least I won't have to see it - and they'll be saved if I ever want to see them. Or if I don't, I can just ignore it.

Thanks <3
   
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