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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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ChapperIce Offline
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Am I in the wrong? - April 20th 2010, 03:57 PM

Lately I've been having a lot of issues with my friends. One of them has been distant to everyone since she got a boyfriend, me especially. I haven't hung out with her since last semester.

My other friend Jenna I kinda cried to a lot when something hurt me or I was worried and she suddenly flipped out on me for doing it so often.I didn't realize it bothered her. I thought she was ok since she always tried to help me out. Not only that, but on friday I asked if she wanted to go to the waterpark on saturday since my mom can get us in free. She said she was staying home that weekend to catch up on schoolwork because she's really behind. I then find out she went and hung out with the friend from above on Sunday. I ended up not going to the waterpark because none of my friends could go (two genuinely couldn't).

The same first friend had a gettogether at her house, someone posted pictures of iton their facebook. I know everyone who was innvited there. I'm the only one who wasn't invited.

I was trying to talk to friend 1 about my problems I have with her when she had to go to the bathroom. Her boyfriend got on and was trying to help but he wouldn't admit my friend did anything wrong. I try so hard to make plans with her but he said i was wrong for not giving specific dates. My friend is busy so I don't know when she's free. I ask if she wants to hang out, she should tell me when she's free if she wants to. he told me making plans too far in advanced she'll forget about but if I make it the day before that doesn't give her enough time. what the fuck do I do? He ended up being a dick to me and said "good riddance" to me. After he got off, she logged off so I didn't get to finish talking to her. She probably hates me now because of her stupid boyfriend.

I just don't know what to do. I haven't done anything wrong but it feels like all my friends hate me. I can't stop crying and i just feel like I bother everyone and I wish I could just die right now ( I won't do anything, but I do feel like death would be nice, that's how I'm describing how bad I feel).

Everyone is against me. I'm the bad guy with everyone because I wanted to be invited places, or hang out with my friends, or hell just have them comment on my facebook or start the convos on facebook if that's all they really have time for.

What's wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone like me?
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 20th 2010, 05:17 PM

Hello there,
You are not necessarily in the wrong. Obviously your friends are not being very mature about things and are just passing you off. I dislike these types of social situations for this very reason, you don't know who is saying what or why people are treating you the way they are. It is one of the problems I had when I attended public school.

If I was able to take the time to know you, you would probably be someone I would like as a friend. I think it would be best to try to get to know a different group of friends who actually have the ability to care about your feelings.
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 20th 2010, 10:43 PM

It sounds like something stupid went on behind your back I think... then people took their distance from you and you didn't know why, so you asked what's wrong, and they just found it a pain in the ass, probably because they didn't know how to answer it.

What it might have been I go no clue... I mean stupid talk arises from thin air and it can be about anything, god knows what their problem might have been. What's important is you have at least 1 really good friend you can stick with... 'cos its 100x tougher on your own. As for them, don't do something that might provoke some personal confrontation. Don't treat them like your friends anymore, trying to start conversations with them, 'cos the odds are it'l just aggrivate things. Don't give them cold shoulder either... 'cos they might just find that provocative.

This sorta stupid situations are hard to predict... because there's always most things going on behind your back. The simplest and most effective option is just to pull out rather than get stuck in it all.
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 21st 2010, 12:48 AM

My boyfriend told me it would probably be a good idea to stop being friends with them so I removed them from my contacts and from my facebook and everything and i'm going to avoid them when I go back to school in fall. If they come to me and want to talk things out, I'll talk, but I'm not going to them for anything anymore
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 23rd 2010, 01:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChapperIce View Post
My boyfriend told me it would probably be a good idea to stop being friends with them so I removed them from my contacts and from my facebook and everything and i'm going to avoid them when I go back to school in fall. If they come to me and want to talk things out, I'll talk, but I'm not going to them for anything anymore
I agree with your choice. Because these girls don't seem to care about how you feel or be true friends. Because friends don't do this. If they leave you it is because of a genuine reason. You didn't do anything. Unless its something you haven't mentioned.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 23rd 2010, 08:19 PM

I've been bitching lately so there is a reason to avoid me BUT they've been doing all this BEFORE I started bitching at them so it can't be the reason.
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 23rd 2010, 11:02 PM

Dont even bitch at them, it might be tempting, but itl just draw their attention... just make it look like u totaly dont give a shit. Besides bitching about people to others makes it plainly obvious that you are sore about something... which I dont blame u for being, buts generaly not a good idea to show it.
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 24th 2010, 07:03 AM

I haven't talked to any of them since I took them all off my facebook. I have to go to the school monday to brign in overdue books so I can register for classes though so I might end up running into them (especially since one works at the library) but I plan to not speak to any of them unless they come to me, and even then I might not say anything.
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 24th 2010, 07:42 PM

If u completely ignore them then it'l look like ur sore about something they did... so just treat them like U'd treat any other person, casually... but not friends anymore. If u show that ur sore about it, it shows a weakness, and people often take advantage of weaknesses.
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 24th 2010, 11:44 PM

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Originally Posted by BDF View Post
... just treat them like U'd treat any other person, casually...
best advice.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Am I in the wrong? - April 25th 2010, 08:32 AM

Well that didn't work. I'm only going to not talk to them unless I'm spoken to. Since I'm not friends ith them anymore it won't be odd if I sit on my own at school and if they come up to me, then sure I'll talk to them.
   
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